First notebook entry: Introducing myself

I'm Zoey. Zoey Chow, from China.
I work in foreign business sales. I always need to communicate with foreign customers, but I'm not good at English. I have a poor speaking skills and a limited vocabulary, so I came to italki. I wish to find someone who wants to learn English (or someone who is good at English - even speaks it as their mother language - but wants to learn Chinese). We can study together.
Do you know the movie "Godfather?" I like it very much. The words "don't hate your enemy, it affects your judgement," are my favorite words in the movie.
My other hobbies are singing songs, listening to music, surfing on the internet, etc. 
Would you like to make friends with me? Then come on!

Don't forget to put a space after the punctuation.

First notebook entry: Introducing Myself

I'm Zoey, Zoey Chow, from China.
I'm in a foreigner business sales. I always need to communicate with foreign customers, but I'm not good at English. I have a poor oral skills and terrible vocabulary, so I've come to italki. I wish to find a someone who wants to learn English, (or someone which is good at English, or even speaks English as their mother language tongue, but wants to learn Chinese). We can study together.

Do you know the movie "The Godfather"? I like it very much. The words "Don't hate your enemy; it affects your judgement” are my favorite words in the movie.
My other hobbies are [OR, "Apart from watching movies, my other hobbies are"] singing songs, listening to music, surfing on the internet, etc. and more.

If you would Do you like to make friends with me, Then come on! please go ahead!

OR

Please feel free to add me as a friend. (Not only is this very common and natural, but it's also just like saying 请随便加我为好友。Would you use that in Chinese? I know 请随便问问题 is ok, but I wonder if you would use the same strucure when refering to 加为好友。）

Some other notes:

1. "We can study together" 不很清楚。因为有”我们可以学习一起“的意思，所以你说关于英文吗？不然，是不是你想说”我们可以互相帮助学习（别的语言）？这句是We can help each other study【OR learn】(the other language.）

2. etc. 有 别的相似种的东西 的意思。跟 等等 是一样的吧？唱歌，听音乐和上网，都不同，所以应该用 ”and more."

3. Come on  是像 过来吧 或者 加油 的意思，不过不正是。不确定怎么解释；常常央求或鼓励某人。