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yanzi's notebook entry: Jan 02, 2011 I do not tell my friends about my birthday,everybody has his work and thay are busy.As a child,my mother had made hot dumplings for me.It is very delicious.When I recall the food,I always remember my famliy members,my mother,my father,my younger brother.Now I have being away from home for a long time,the life is not always easy.But I think that I have a good health and make my parents do not worry at least.I want to take a good result to my parents.As long as my parents are healthy and happy,that is ok.

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yanzi's notebook entry: Jan 02, 2011

I do not tell my friends about my birthday, because everybody has his work and they are busy.As a child, my mother had made hot dumplings for me.  They were very delicious.  When I think about the food, I always remember my famliy members: my mother, my father, and my younger brother.  Now that I have been away from home for a long time, the life is not always easy.  But, I think that I have a good health and I do not make my parents do not worry at least.  I want to take a good result to my parents. (This does not sound very natural.  I think what you might mean is:  I want to make my parents proud).  As long as my parents are healthy and happy, that is ok.


Very good!!  Remember to put a space after all of your punctuation marks (especially commas and periods)


Red            =   Capitalize
Blue           =   Correction and Spelling
Green        =  More natural / Common ~ Optional                      
Purple        =   Comment - Suggestion
Underline =   Punctuation - Spacing 
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yanzi's notebook entry: Jan 02, 2011

I do not tell my friends about my birthday,everybody has his work and they are busy.As a child,my mother had made hot dumplings for me.It is They are very delicious.When I recall the food,I always remember my famliy members,my mother,my father,my younger brother.Now I have being been away from home for a long time,the life is not always easy.But I think that I have a good health and do not make my parents do not worry at least.I want to take a good results back home to my parents.As long as my parents are healthy and happy,that is ok.

If you say "dumplings" in the plural, then you must also say "they are" in the plural.
"Life" not "the life" because you are wanting to say "life in general" not "the definite life"
It is the same with "good health" and "good results"... you are talking in general, not specifically, therefore don't put "a good health" and "a good result" because this means any unspecified good health and good results. I know it is hard to get a hold on the grammar.

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