Better
Today, I took part in an activity and met a lots of students from different universities. We are all nearly the same age, I feel they all have some merits I should learn from. When I meet outstanding people, I am eager to be excellent, too. Passion and persistence, I wanna be better!
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Better
Today, I took part in an activity where I met a lots of students from different universities. We are all nearly the same age, I feel they all have some merits I should learn from. When I meet outstanding people, I am eager to be excellent, too. Passion and persistence, I wanna be better!
Very good entry. I understand it very well. There are only these two changes I would make to make it sound more natural.
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