Couple of thoughts..And I can´t sleep :/ Aight. It´s 5 am, and I´m lying in bed, listening to Jose Gonzales - Heartbeats and trying desperately to fall asleep - a sheer impossible task. Might be due to the fact that I just got the message that I have to move out of my apartment till march, because my flatmate got jealous about a girl I made out with a couple of weeks ago.Or because my dad - having drunk half a liter of wine kicked me out of his car in the middle of nowhere on Christmas Eve at 22pm as a result of my contumacy to his continuous ungrounded verbal attacks against me. But probably most because I´m flying to Poland next Thursday, to get back the girl I love. the girl I lost out of my own stubborn stupidity. Having prepared so much not knowing how she will react. not knowing anything certainly but one thing. That Im gonna be completely lost if don´t succeed..that I´ll be broken, that Its gonna take me months, probably even more to get over the whole situation. It is by way of comparison easy in life, to endure, to bear a very difficult situation. if you can fight, if you´ve got hope, if you know that there is at least a little gleam of hope. But as soon, as this gleam of hope extinguishes, You fall into a very deep black hole of despair and sadness. And I´ll do everything to avoid that. People reading this will probably be curious about how I am planing on getting her back. The heck with it. So I´ll tell you my maniac plan and abuse italki as a little diary. The first thing you need to know is, that we were together for about two years, and that it was a long distance relationship. I´ll skip the details why be broke up but.. after breaking up , that was just before summer holidays, I behaved like the biggest asshole ever and barely talked with her, trying to get over her by partying aso. So after 5 months I gathered myself together, started talking with her again and noticed how much I still love her, what I had lost and how much I hurt her by doing all I had done.The last 4 months I was trying to get her back, quite a very difficult task to undertake over distance. And I couldn´t really fly for longer than three days because of university. But now - Holidays - two months! And I´ll be there, in her town, and I´ll have my own apartment. So next Sunday, I´ll invite her over, candle light dinner prepared (I´m quite a good cook) .I´ll give her the Christmas present I made for her(self knitted scarf ) play her favorite song on guitar - Heartbeats. Followed by a dance, and then