Unemployment In Spain

Here in Spain, like in many countries around the world, unemployment is a big problem. A lot of families have at least one or two of their members out of work. Many younger people have even moved in with their parents because they can´t afford to pay the rent on their house rent. Those who have a job have to put up with all what everything their bosses want out of for fear of losing their job.

To top it all, ["to top it all" is ok, but is colloquial. You could also say, "on top of it all"] the Spanish Government keep saying that the situation is getting better, when everybody knows this isn´t true. They have done nothing to help the unemployed people; neither this Government nor the last one.

Unemployment In Spain

Here ,in Spain like in many countries around the world,unemployment is a big problem. A lot of families have at least one or two of their ('of their' is optional, but most people leave it out) members out of work. Many people has have even moved in with their parents because they can´t afford to pay the house rent.Those who have a job have to put up with all what everything their bosses want for fear of losing their job. To On top of it all,the Spanish Government keep saying that the situation is getting better, when everybody knows this isn´t true.They have done nothing to help the unemployed people,neither this Government nor the last one.

Very good job!  This is written very well!