A square peg into a round hole

For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an ardent football fan. When he was a young lad, he used to kick makeshift balls all around my grandma’s house, driving her crazy. As a teenager he managed to join an amateur team, but a knee injury shattered his dream of becoming a professional footballer. Consequently, as I was his first boy, I was supposed to follow in his footsteps. Needless to say, the attempt was a complete disaster. I was always lost on the pitch, and the spectators could not help groaning at my clumsiness every time I went for the ball. I felt miserable, missing dreadfully the few moments I could read my favourite books, which had been gathering dust for months.
Eventually, when I had had enough of being the laughing stock of my team-mates, I resolved to let my father know of my decision to quit sport. “Dad, I’m not a natural-born football player, I must tell you”, I told him without any hesitation. Then, I shattered his illusions for ever: “I will never be a playmaker like Brindisi (one of the Boca Juniors’ top-scorers in the eighties), I want to be like Edgar Allan Poe”. “A hopeless lush? What do you mean?”- he cried suddenly. “A writer daddy” I retorted- I want to be a renowned author”. He just lowered his head, gave me a big hug and let me go. The tears were streaming down his cheeks.

A square peg into a round hole

For as long as I can remember, my dad has been an ardent football fan. When he was a young lad, he used to kick makeshift balls all around my grandma’s house, driving her crazy. As a teenager, he managed to join an amateur team, but a knee injury shattered his dream of becoming a professional footballer. Consequently, as I was his first boy, I was supposed to follow in his footsteps. Needless to say, the attempt was a complete disaster. I was always lost on the pitch, and the spectators could not help groaning at my clumsiness every time I went for the ball. I felt miserable, dreadfully missing the few moments I could read my favourite books, which had been gathering dust for months.

Eventually, when I had had enough of being the laughing stock of my team-mates, I resolved to let my father know of my decision to quit the sport. “Dad, I’m not a natural-born football player, I must tell you," I told him without any hesitation. Then, I shattered his illusions forever: “I will never be a playmaker like Brindisi (one of the Boca Juniors’ top-scorers in the eighties). I want to be like Edgar Allan Poe."

“A hopeless lush? What do you mean?” he cried suddenly.

“A writer, daddy,” I retorted.  I want to be a renowned author."

He just lowered his head, gave me a big hug and let me go. The tears were streaming down his cheeks.

Note:  When writing a narrative like this, when switching voices between yourself and your father's, it's approrpiate to separate them into separate paragraphs, although this type of paragraph spacing is not a rule.  Also, punctuation like periods, commas, and question marks always go inside the end of the quotations.  For example, this sentence:  "I forgot my applesauce," the boy said.  Placing a comma at the end of the quotation marks is a common mistake that even native English-speaking college students make, but it is still incorrect.

The person who corrected you initially is right.  You could certainly pass for a native writer of English in this piece you submitted.  Well done!