Writing Practice 2
Here I am, the following passage is another writing practice I've just done. Please help me correct it or improve it, I'd love to correct my mistakes and learn more, I would be grateful if anyone would help me.
DIRECTIONS:
Write an essay of 160-200 words based on the following drewing.In your essay, you should
1.describe the drewing briefly
2.explain its intended meaning, and then
3.support your view with an example/examples
(Here comes my essay)
This picture is talking about the moment before a penalty kick in a football match. Of course, the football is waiting for a powerful and the strongest kick by the attacker. While at this very second, the air is frozen, the attacker and goalkeeper are destroyed their confidence by each other.In the eyes of the attacker, the keeper is fat, big and strong enough to keep the ball away from the tiny goal. Meanwhile, the goalkeeper thinks himself is too small to keep a good guard.
The message in the picture is telling us that people tend to underestimate their abilities and always feel difficult when confronted with challenges.
In fact, we shouldn't be like that. What we have to do is that calm ourselves down and be ourselves then try our best to figure it out when we face up to any challenge. For instance, I can remember a very report given by Li Lianjie who is a very famous actor.He told us that challenge or difficulty was just like our thumb, it was huge if you put it in front of your eye that it covered all your sight line, whereas it was tiny if you put it in this auditorium. Think about it, we shouldn't underestimat our abilities, yet, we shouldn't undersetimate opponents' either.
Thank you for the patience!
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Corrections · 8
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I'll just correct the essay:
This picture is talking about the moment before a penalty kick in a football match. Of course, the football is waiting for the strongest and most powerful kick by the attacker.While At this very second, the air is frozen and the confidence of both the attacker and the goalkeeper is destroyed their confidence by each other. In the eyes of the attacker, the keeper is fat, big and strong enough to keep the ball away from the tiny goal. Meanwhile, the goalkeeper thinks himself is too small to keep a good guard.
The message in the picture tells us that people tend to underestimate their abilities and always imagine difficulties when confronted with challenges.
The truth is, we shouldn't be like that. What we must do isthat calm ourselves down and be ourselves then try our best to figure things out when we face up to any challenge. For instance, I can remember a very (very what?) report given by Li Lianjie, who is a very famous actor. He said that challenge or difficulty is just like our thumb; it is huge if you put it in front of your eye so that it covers all your entire sight line, whereas it is tiny if you present it in an auditorium. Think about it: we shouldn't underestimate our abilities, yet we shouldn't underestimate the opponents' either.
Thank you for your patience!
I hope that helps - most of the time you were 80% correct but your choice of words or phrasing was just slightly "off the mark".
For example: "he told us..." well no, he didn't tell us. If he told us, that implies that not only did he give us this information, but that he was also addressing us directly. However, this is secondhand information so we simply use "said".
Just send me a message if some choices or corrections weren't clear - happy to explain! ^^
This picture is talking about the moment before a penalty kick in a football match. Of course, the football is waiting for the strongest and most powerful kick by the attacker.
The message in the picture tells us that people tend to underestimate their abilities and always imagine difficulties when confronted with challenges.
The truth is, we shouldn't be like that. What we must do is
Thank you for your patience!
I hope that helps - most of the time you were 80% correct but your choice of words or phrasing was just slightly "off the mark".
For example: "he told us..." well no, he didn't tell us. If he told us, that implies that not only did he give us this information, but that he was also addressing us directly. However, this is secondhand information so we simply use "said".
Just send me a message if some choices or corrections weren't clear - happy to explain! ^^
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@Kathrin: 不知道在这里回复你,你能不能看到,不过,还是谢谢你,呵呵^^
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@Sunny: 这个应该叫漫画。动画,顾名思义是会动的,像我们看的动画片,或者动画片电影……哈哈,这幅画不是我画的,是英语练习册上的插图^^
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真有意思
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这个动画很有意思的,是不是自己想的出来画的?
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