Our health is important, because without our health, we can’t enjoy our money or our love. I believe that all of us have the right to receive health care in public hospitals, regardless of our social status.
     We should cut Military Funding instead of Health Care Funding. Our National Health Care System is excellent and we enjoy good hospitals and medical professionals, but due to budgetary cut-backs, wait times have unfortunately increased.
     This should never happen, because appointment times are crucial. In a perfect world, this would be obvious, but if we want to improve this situation, we have to take measures appropriate to the circumstances. For example; a "centralized country system" instead of a "county system," would reduce "red tape" issues when one moves. Another improvement could be eliminating "intermediate steps." For example, to schedule an appointment with a medical specialist, we are first required to make an appointment with our Primary Care doctor to request an referral. If we could directly contact specialists, primary care appointment times could be devoted to other patients.
     Other measures could be implimented if we solicited the opinions of patients and medical professionals. They know what needs to be changed, because they have the expertise in these matters.

     I organized your thoughts a bit here. You are using too many adverbs and adjectives in your writing, and this confuses your message. I hope this is helpfull, Ms. Garcia. 

The National Health Care System (Could you please take a look at my essay?)

I think good health is the most important thing you can have, because without your health you can’t enjoy money your possessions or love [I understand what you are trying to say, but I'd suggest changing this to "life or love"]. Due to this opinion For this reason, I consider believe that everybody should have the right of to receive a medical care from medical staff of in public hospitals, regardless of their social status.

In times of economic crisis, we should cut back in other areas like, for example, the military instead of something such as important as health care. So far, the national health care system has been excellent with good hospitals and good medical professionals. Unfortunately, because of the cutbacks, I notice that the waiting list times have been increasing.

In issues of health issues, this should never happen because time is sometimes crucial [you could also use a legal/medical phrase "time is of the essence"]. In an ideal world, what I've said would be considered logical what I am saying, but and if we want to change the situation we have to think of measures according appropriate for the circumstances. For example, a nationally centralized country system instead of a county-based system, that would reduce red tape when you moving to another city or autonomous community (this might take maybe about 5 minutes but, multiplied by all the number of cases of people moving, are a lot of staff minutes spent in doing a task that could be removed).

Other measures could be eliminate intermediate steps. For example, for doing a preventive periodic check. I had to make an appointment with the primary care doctor to get the citation a referral to a with the specialist. If I would have had were able to directly make the appointment with the specialist, due to it was being a periodic review, the time devoted for doing to making my appointment could be invested in other patients.

I think that many more measures could be taken if we asked for the people opinions that has from people with first-hand knowledge in this of the matter, patients and medical staff. They know exactly what exactly should be done because they have to deal with this every day.

The National Healthcare System

I think health is the most important thing you can have, because without health you can’t enjoy money or love. Due to this opinion, I consider feel/think that everybody should have the right of to receive a medical care from (the medical staff of) public hospitals, regardless of their [1]social status.

In times of economic crisis, we should cut back in other areas like, for example, [2] the military instead of something such as important as health care. So far, the national healthcare system has been excellent with, providing good hospitals and good medical professionals. Unfortunately, because of the cutbacks I have noticed that the waiting list times period has been increased/has become longer.

In health issuesIn situations where health is concerned, this should never happen because time is sometimes crucial. In an ideal world would be logical what that which I am saying would be logical, but if we want to change the situation we have to think take/implement measures according the actual circumstances. For example, a centralized, country national system instead of a (local) county system, that would reduce the amount of red tape when if you had to move to another city or autonomous community (maybe by about 5 five minutes but, multiplied by all the cases, are a lot of staff minutes spent on a given task that could be removed saved).

Another measure could be the elimination of intermediate steps. For example, for doing in order to have a (preventive) periodic checkup, I had to make an appointment with the primary care doctor to get the citation with a referral for the specialist. If I would have  been able to directly make an appointment  had directly the appointment with the specialist, due to since it was a periodic review, the time devoted for to doing scheduling my appointment could have been invested in (the needs of/in the care of) other patients.

I think that many more measures could be taken if we asked for the people opinion that has with first-hand knowledge in of this the matter for an opinion (people such as patients and medical staff). They know exactly what exactly should be done because they have to deal with this [with what?] every day.

[1] it's unclear who 'they' are

[2] like = for example; you don't need both