-an essay-

Some people think younger people are not suitable for important positions in government in countries. Some think it will be a good idea for younger people to take on these positions. Discuss both ideas. 18:45 19:25

It is true that there is a trend that high positions in politics have been gradually are increasingly being performed by young people. Although some people argue that it may be a negative trend, I believe a nation should offer more opportunities for the young to hold the vital positions in the it's political field.

People with traditional minds think that allowing younger people to hold important positions in government is not a cautious and a wise decision because many of them do not have not sufficient experience to deal with the complicated problems that positions such as these could throw at them. These problems are often related with to the standard of life in a society or even the status of a country in the whole world. The most appropriate approaches to these problems are more likely to be suggested by experienced leaders who have been worked working in government for over ten years.

Despite the above argument, I still believe that more benefits can be produced than demerits if the leaders in politics become younger in average age. Because young people can proficiently get access to a wide range of information with the advanced equipment, they have more original and creative solutions that cannot be offered by older leaders. Also, their minds are more flexible and their political emotion is less affected by history. For instance, during the Second World War, China and Japan had a very cold relation with each other because of the war. Now, we have the opening diplomatic strategy to Japan and this is mainly because we have a relatively young leader group whose members have little political bias stemming from history.

In my opinion, that young people are being seen more frequently in becoming the main group of the crucial positions in government is a positive trend, both to the implement of innovative policies and to the diplomatic relationships.

Really excellent!

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-You should write it's because it is the political field of that country.

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-When you use a definite article here you should explain what complex problems you are talking about. If you were to take out the article all together then you wouldn't need the phrase I have added, but I think it's better if you add it after having used it with the definite article.

-In English, things relate to other things

-People have worked or people have been working

-This sentence sounds better when you add in with each other

-Beginning of your last paragraph is just a little wrong

-When you write that something is (to) something else then you can just write ___ and ___. It reads more smoothly 

Your essays are getting so much better! :)