IELTS ESSAY, Language and culture
Topic: Global languages have many benefits and drawbacks; some argue they are necessary for cooperation and advancement, while others say they are harbingers of a future monoculture. Give your opinion.
The issue of global languages has grown in importance over the past few decades. Some claim a global language movement like English mania is a turning point since it represents a future where the world has a common language for its common problems, whereas others announce it resembles a tsunami eroding away other languages and cultures. Whether this is beneficial or detrimental is discussed in further detail below.
On the one hand, it seems undeniable that with a global language one can become part of a wider and universal conversation especially regarding global problems such as warming and the consequent climate change, poverty, starvation, famine, etc. To illustrate this, in Iran's nuclear program talks with P5+1 group, a common language plays an important role in reaching a compromise and adverting further crises.
One the other hand, it is argued that a global language movement encourages people to limit their cultural diversities and native language use. For instance, quite many singers like Sami Yusuf, the Iranian-born singer, or Enrique Iglesias, the Spanish singer- songwriter, whose mother tongues are not English, prefer to use the rich market of English songs and release their albums worldwide. Furthermore, many translators are accustomed to utilizing rough and inaccurate English equivalents for cultural key terminologies of other languages, which could be a warning for coming monoculture. For example, they tend to use "New Year" for special celebrations like "Nowruz" in Iran or "Setsubun" in Japan.
To conclude, there are both negative and positive facets to consider. However, due to all the conveniences that a universal language provides for universal communication, cooperation and the possibility to reform the negative sides, I am of the opinion that this is a positive phenomenon. (284 words)
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Corrections · 7
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IELTS ESSAY, Language and culture
Topic: Global languages have many benefits and drawbacks; some argue they are necessary for cooperation and advancement, while others say they are harbingers of a future monoculture. Give your opinion.
The issue of global languages has grown in importance over the past few decades. Some claim a global language movement like "English Mania" is a turning point since it represents a future in which the world has a common language for it's common problems, whereas others announce it resembles a tsunami eroding away other's languages and cultures. Whether this is beneficial or detrimental is discussed in more detail below.
On the one hand, it seems undeniable that with a global language one can become part of a wider and universal conversation especially regarding global problems such as global warming and the consequent climate change, poverty, starvatio and famine, etc. To illustrate this, in Iran's nuclear programme talks with the P5+1 group, a common language plays an important role in reaching a compromise and adverting further crises.
One the other hand, it is argued that a global language movement encourages people to limit their cultural diversities and native language use. For instance, quite a lot of singers like Sami Yusuf, the Iranian-born singer, or Enrique Iglesias, the Spanish singer- songwriter, whose mother tongues are not English, prefer to use the rich market of English songs and release their albums worldwide. Furthermore, many translators are accustomed to utilizing rough and inaccurate English equivalents for cultural key terminologies of other languages, which could be a warning for a coming monoculture. For example, they tend to use "New Year" for special celebrations like "Nowruz" in Iran or "Setsubun" in Japan.
To conclude, there are both negative and positive facets to consider. However, due to all the conveniences that a universal language provides for universal communication, cooperation and the possibility to reform the negative sides, I am of the opinion that this is a positive phenomenon. (284 words)
Your English is mind blowing. Just a couple of tiny mistakes!
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here's my teacher's feedback on this essay:
task response: you could develop a position toward the subject. Therefore, in this regard, your essay was acceptable
cohesion and coherence: in terms of cohesion, your essay was cohesive; you could use transitions and conjunctions frequently and you could connect sentences correctly.
In terms of coherence, there were some parts the coherent link was broken; therefore, you are asked to write more to the point. In fact, if you try to develop all the support sentences based on first the topic sentence and also related to the other support sentences, you can create coherence easily.
lexical resource: words, metaphors and similes you used in the essay especially those of the introduction paragraph were nice and completely acceptable. They can increase your score easily. However, if you try to follow the same pattern for the body and conclusion paragraphs, that’ll be excellent!
grammatical range and accuracy: grammatically speaking, I didn’t find any mistake; however, the most problem is with the grammatical range and diversity. In other words, you should try to apply more grammatical rules so that your essay gets free from the simple theme. If you just use simple grammatical rules for all sentences, then you’ll lose some scores. You are recommended to study more on IELTS writing grammar.
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IELTS Writing Task Two is supposed to be at least 250 words and at most around 275 words! Mine is only 9 words more!
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it's too long
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