Hey good job! Here is my edited version, I reorganized some things and rewrote some parts in my own words.

My introduction
Hello. I’m Yolanda Wang. I major in editing and publishing. I really enjoy public relations and for me it’s not only a job, it’s what I completely passionate about. This is why I will strive for the opportunity to put my whole heart into it. When I was in middle school, the creative ideas of brand activities on TV really hit me. I was so marveled by brand strategies. While I was a sophomore at College, I realized public relations are what I love. And since then I have put an emphases in my life to learn as much as I can about public relations, commercial, communication, marketing and so on. I have an inexplicable affection for public relations and the ability to follow my heart. The creative ideas and all the challenges of them always excite me.
I love being able to really let myself go while roller skating and playing tennis. I am fond of music regardless of the genre. Music is so soothing, when I walk alone and write essays I put on my earphones and just listening to the music. I am a sports enthusiast. I really like watching games, so of course the World Cup is a must for me. I just can’t escape the excitement and passion. I have had a crush on the German Team for eight years. I not only stand by German Team because those handsome men, but also because of a boy I knew eight years ago. I steal the enthusiasm for the German Team from that boy and I cherish the German Team with other fans around the world. Today I have learned to appreciate them even more because they are always full of a youthful spirit and they play soccer with an indomitable will. I am a creative person. Music and games inspire me. I recognize I should focus more on details and enjoy nature and life. Thank you!