My park and I “I put my wheelchair into the shadow of the wall, leveled out the back of my chair, sat or lied there, read books or thought about something, drove away the insects with a brach of a tree ,who also did not know why came to this world as myself.” “bees stood stable in the air as a piece of fog: ants shook their heads and touched their vibrissa, suddenly they seemed to understand of something and turned around , ran away: a ladybug was not patient with his crawl, he made a prey and opened his wings to fly into the sky when he was tired: There was a cicada ecdysis on a branch, which seemed lonely like a empty house: Dewdrops rolled on the leaves of grass, then congregated and bent the leaves, they dropped to the ground suddenly and was broken to millions shiny pieces.” “ The park was filled by different sounds made by grass and trees, which have not stopped for one minute.” All of these are true, the garden was wild but not waned. I have visited every trees in the park and left the print of my chair on everywhere of the ground excepted several palace halls that I was not able to get into, and the altar that I could not go up to but observing it from different perspectives. I had been there in any seasons, any weathers and anytime. Sometimes I just stayed there for a while then went home, but sometimes I sat there until the moon arose. I could not remember in which corner that I spent several hours constantly thinking about death, I also thought about my birth in the same way. After I did such kind of things for some years I finally came to a conclusion: That is a truth given by the god, once a person is born, and you can not argue about it anymore. When god gives this truth to him he arranges its result by the way, so death is not the thing that I am rush to, but it is a festival that must come some day. I became a little more comfortable after I had this thought, and everything beside me seemed less scaring. For example when you are preparing for an important exam throughout the nights, will a long holiday behind it make you less stressed ? And will you be glad at such a arrangement? The problem for me left was how to live, which was not get clearly and was not solved in a short time, maybe I have to go with it throughout of my life, as a ghost or my lover.