Diary Note 2 About future, I still have no sketch or clue in mind .Can't figure out what I wanna do and what I can do, exactly the same as I thought months ago. Seems I can't move my foot out for even one step, it's so hard for me to make a working decision between programme and public institution. The former one could earn me better life with lots of money while the latter one can help me gain stable life as all of girls wished . But as you know, nothing is definitely right to be chosen because nothing is permanent. Everything is changeable. But for me, one thing which I can make sure is I need to be not only economic independent but also wealthy enough to buy myself and my family what they want. I can't live without money for another twenty or even longer years. I feel heart hurt whenever I saw my younger brother crying silently for his favourite toys or snacks which wont be bought because of lack of money. The same situation really happened to me a lot in past several years. For the other, I can't set myself into unsafety marriage where I would be abandoned by my husband because of love affairs or married quarrels. That means if I can't feed myself full and make myself live well , I would got nowhere to go . Seems my answer is given, huh, which is I will work for money, and try to make my work stable. Someone said I am so pessimistic that I almost can see nothing in optimistic way, like nobody will abandon his wife at random or everything is gonna be fine. Yeap, maybe that's true, but nothing wrong for me to be strong enough to protect myself from hurting, am I right? We can live better with our hands, only if we keep running and walking all the time. OK, time to get back sleeping ,, wish us happy !