Double Income Families-1

Double income families are prevailing becoming more prevelant in modern society. Some people argue that this family style makes children grow up under in a parentless environment while some others believe that children obtain abundant resources if they live in affluent families. However, in this essay, I would like to contend that the advantages of living in a double income family outweigh its the disadvantages.

Firstly, it It is undeniable that double income families can provide more financial support compared with than the normal households in which merely one parent works. Double income families could can invest more money on their children’s education to and gain quality resources. Furthermore, some families can’t afford all household expenditures if one of them the parents is taking care of children at home. As a result, I believe that double income families are necessary to exist for a necessity for some households’ economic status.

Comment: Overall, your message is very clear. I just cleaned up some of your grammar so that it would sound more natural and native. 加油!

Double Income Families-1

Double income families are prevailing in modern society. Some people argue this family style makes children grow up under a parentless environment while some others believe children obtain abundant resources if they live in affluent families. However, in this essay, I would like to contend that the advantages of living in double income family outweigh its disadvantages.

Firstly, it is undeniable that double income families can provide more financial support compared with the normal household which where merely one parent works. Double income families could invest more money on children’s education to gain quality resources. Furthermore Secondly, some families can’t afford all household expenditure if one of them is take taking care of children at home. As a result, I believe that double income families are necessary to exist for some households’ economic status.

Comment: If you are going to start a paragraph with "Firstly", then you should also have a sentence that starts with "Secondly". Of just leave the "Firstly" out and use "Furthermore" as you did.