I'm just not ok

I don't understand why it is so hard for me to ask for help and show my weakness.
This problem worries me a lot. I do need to change something because it makes my life harder.
Looking back, all the pain in my life is due to this problem: my breaking up with my ex, the cold relationship between me and my parents.
Worst of all, I can't even shed a tear in front of anyone, even if that person is an intimate friend. I'm just not able to show it. Isn't that sad?
How can I let others know that I bleed too? I wish I could stop pretending that I'm ok when actually I'm crashing down.

You've made a good first step.

I'm just not ok

I don't understand why it is so hard for me to ask for help and show my weakness.
The problem worries me a lot. I do need to change something coz it makes my life harder.
Looking back, all the pain in my life is due to this problem. My breaking up with ex, the cold relationship between me and my parents.
(The )worst of all, I can't even shed a tear in front of anyone. Even if that person is an intimate friend. I'm just not able to.( Isn't that) sad is't it?
How can I let others know that I bleed too. I wish I could stop pretending that I'm ok when actually I'm crashing down.

I'm Just Not OK

I don't understand why it is so hard for me to ask for help and admit (show) my weaknesses.
The problem worries me a lot (.) and I do need to change something because (coz) it makes my life harder.
Looking back, all the pain in my life stems from this issue. (is due to this problem.) From the break (My breaking) up with ex (,) to the cold relationship between me and my parents.
(The) Worst of all, I can't even shed a tear in front of anyone. Even if that person is a close (an intimate) friend (.), I'm just not able to. Isn't that sad?
How can I let others know that I bleed too? I wish I could stop pretending that I'm ok when actually I'm crashing down.

Well, you should at least be proud of your English writing as this was a well-written essay. 

I'm just not ok

I don't understand why it is so hard for me to ask for help and show my weakness.
The problem worries me a lot. I do need to change something coz because (for formal writings) it makes my life harder.
Looking back, all the pain in my life is due to this problem. My breaking up with my ex, the cold relationship between me and (you can only say "with") my parents. 

The worst of all, I can't even shed a tear in front of anyone. Even if that person is an intimate close friend. I'm just not able to. Isn't that sad?
How can I let others know that I bleed too? I wish I could stop pretending that I'm ok when actually I'm crashing down.

Hope everything fixes, whatever it is about :)