Writing task 1 in the Ielts (I don't know what do you mean with Ielts) test

Writing task 1 in the Ielts test ( Cambridge 5 page 52)
Link of the Question:http://www.flickr.com/photos/99087187@N07/13144906974/
My answer, please check for me.
." The bar chart reflects the most important reasons for study of students in five age groups selected and how much support they got from employers.
. Overall First of all (do not use these kind of connectors when you have not started writting your essay yet), it is clear that the figure for reason for study of under 26 years old students was the hightest, while there was no different in this figure of students aged 40-49 years old is a huge difference between this group and the 40-49 years old one (i think you may mean that, don't you?. Moreover, the proportion of reason for career was is the hightest in most ages groups. In addition, the percentage of support that under 26 years old students got was hightest from employer (you have already repeated this idea).
. More Specifically, the reasons figures for career of under 26 years old students around is 80% out numbered than these figures for interest in this age group (I don't understand what you mean in this sentence). In terms of the quantity, more there are most reasons for of interest of over 49 years old students group than reasons for career of this age group ( over 70 percent compared to over 20 percent). Conversely In contrast, the percentage of reason for study was has not changed of 40-49 year-old student, around 40 percent.
. The figuer (??) for support of under 26 year-old students from employers was is around 60 percent, more than three times out of this figure for of 30-39 year-old students, the age group has the lowest suppory percentages.

You have to work hard on your English. You must have your main ideas clear before you write because that means that the checker won't understand what you mean. You also should study the prepositions and the phrasal verbs, and try to use the same time in the verbs.