the power of advertising

Write about the following topic :
Today, the high sales af popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and not the real needs of the society in which they are sold.
To what extent do you agree or disagree ?


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It is known that the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and that advertising plays a significant role in human life. The number of people who given place importance to on this subject has risen up (has risen/has gone up) in recent years. I definitely agree with the idea. There are several reasons why I feel this way. The previous two sentences make sense but I suggest you combine them: "I agree with this idea for several reasons."
First of all, there are exaggerated. advertisements exaggerate. What, I mean is, they show better than a goods. (I would suggest that you eliminate the previous sentence because it is redundant). For example, they in the advertisements say claim that weight loss pills weakends (I assume you meant to say something like "weight loss pills will help people lose weight in just one month"). everyone in one month. If there are a celebrity figure in this advertisement, goods prefer to most of people (I'm not exactly sure what you want to say here but I assume: "Celebrity endorsement of products/goods lends credibility to said product and that most people prefer products that someone they like (read: celebrity) endorses).  Moreover, weak people as well as fat people take in order to look fit. 
Another thing is Additonally/Furthermore, advertisements can reach a lot people, thus/thereby increasing the amount of sales (you could just say "thereby increasing sales"). For example, a chocolate advertisement that introduced new remark the attention all children. (I'm not sure what you are trying to say here).
One of the Another most important reasons is a the "wannabe factor". İn other words, they (who is they? people who idolize the tv stars, yes?) want to resemble aspire to be like/emulate TV stars and therefore they try to imitate them. also imitate what these TV stars lifestyles and purchases. If a producer wants high sales, he needs a good advertising. For example, I will buy a dress because I have seen it in advertisements.
In a word, Evidentally, I can confidently say that, the high sales of popular consumer goods reflect the power of advertising and but not necessarily the real needs of the society in which they are sold. (I took a little liberty in this last sentence. The tone of what you wrote was a bit too strong. I attempted to make it more reasonable).