Why do you want to work in...

I am trying to answer the question of "why do you want to work in the service industry?", which is a question from my employer(interviewer?). Can anyone can help me point out any errors or some disadvantages? If you have any opinion on this question, please let me know. Thanks a lot.

Here is my answer (not satisfying to me ~~LOL)

To begin with, I love meeting people and dealing with them. I really enjoy the interacting with people. Secondly , I also possess good interpersonal communication skills, which would prove helpful in this position. Thirdly , In addition, I am always eager to help people resolve any issues they may have encountered. Doing so which is a huge inspires and satisfies to me.

Writing tip: please pay attention to punctuation. In many cases, you got it wrong. It seems like a minor point, but to an employer it looks careless.

Another tip is to use verbs in place of nouns, and active verbs in place of static verbs (eg. I worked as a receptionist sounds better than I was a receptionist). It makes you sound more intersting and more like a go-getter.

I've replaced some phrases with a more businesslike phrase.

Also, I agree with Daniel's comment about avoiding "firstly, secondly, thirdly". In a longer essay they work fine to give some structure, but in such a short answer it looks like you are "ticking boxes", or that you don't know how to put sentences together. A minor point again, but it would make your employer think differently of you.

Good luck in your application!

SOS~~~Why do you want to work in ....

I am try to answer the question of "why do you want to work in the service industry? " - the question from my employer . Any one can help me point out the errors or some disadvantages ? If you have any opinion on this question please let me know ,thanks a lot .
Here is the answer (not satisfying~~LOL )
Firstly , I love meeting people and dealing with them .I really enjoy the interaction with people.
Secondly , I have good interpersonal communication skills which is helpful in this work.
Thirdly , I am happy to help people resolve their issues ,which is a huge inspiration to me.