Worry about personal gains and loses

These days，I always feeling worry about personal gains and loses because of my boy friend.
Falling in love during 17 years old belongs to puppy love in china,and it usually not be recived by the people.
Puppy love in general causes many neigtive effects like learning achievements slideing downward,can't concentrate in classes and so on.What's worse,I don't like myself now who lose own style,no enery,no power and no purpose! Even sometimes I thought myself had been a bad girl.
We hand in hand,we touch,we kiss when we are together,when we are not together,he even text massages are no!So,sometimes I feel I just a toy for him!
I don't want bo be a such guy,I eager to change but don't know how to do.I don't want to ruin my future becuse of the uncertain love.....
[For us,meybe don't know what is the ture love.]

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