About my last travel experience
This Christmas, I went with my husband to San Francisco. It was my first trip to San Francisco. We spent the whole day there. The weather was sunny and warm. But near the ocean was strong winds. First, we were near the Golden Gate Bridge. We taked pictures and mared video to show our parents. Then we went to Pier 39. There have been many people. We saw sea lions on wharf, we had dinner at the famous Pier 39 at the Italian restaurant. And in the evening we went to the ocean beach to admire the sunset. The sun was setting over the ocean. It was so wonderful! I liked everything in San Francisco. I realy loved the colorful houses and streets, beautiful nature and flowering trees. I fell in love with San Francisco.
On this New Year 2014 we'll go back to San Francisco. We are going to visit China Town and to celebrate the New Year in a Chinese restaurant.
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Corrections · 8
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Very nice writing.
The overall comment is that you can join / link your sentences together, so it flows more naturally : )
About my last travel experience
This Christmas, I went with my husband to San Francisco. It was my first trip to San Francisco. We spent the whole day there. [INSTEAD YOU CAN JOIN THE TWO SENTENCES: "IT WAS MY FIRST TRIP TO SAN FRANCISCO, AND WE SPENT THE WHOLE DAY THERE] The weather was sunny and warm. [YOU CAN JOIN THIS WITH THE NEXT SENTENCE] But near the ocean was strong winds [WERE STRONG WINDS]. First, we were near the Golden Gate Bridge DOING WHAT?]. We taked [TOOK NOT TAKED] pictures and mared video to show our parents. Then we went to Pier 39. There have been many people. [YOU CAN JOIN THE SENTENCE..WENT TO PIER 39 WHERE THERE WERE MANY PEOPLE] We saw sea lions on [THE] wharf, [AND] we had dinner at the famous Pier 39 at the Italian restaurant. And [TYPICALLY DO NOT START SENTENCE WITH "AND"] in the evening we went to the ocean beach to admire the sunset. The sun was setting over the ocean. It was so wonderful! I liked everything in San Francisco. I realy loved the colorful houses and streets, beautiful nature and flowering trees. I fell in love with San Francisco.
On this New Year 2014 we'll go back to San Francisco. We are going to visit China Town [CHINATOWN] and to [DO NOT NEED THE "TO"] celebrate the New Year in a Chinese restaurant.
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About my last travel experience
This Christmas, I went with my husband to San Francisco. It was my first trip to San Francisco. We spent the whole day there. The weather was sunny and warm. But near the ocean was strong winds. First, we were near the Golden Gate Bridge. We taked pictures and made video to show our parents. Then we went to Pier 39. There have been many people. We saw sea lions on wharf, we had dinner at the famous Pier 39 at the Italian restaurant. And in the evening we went to the ocean beach to admire the sunset. The sun was setting over the ocean. It was so wonderful! I liked everything in San Francisco. I realy loved the colorful houses and streets, beautiful nature and flowering trees. I fell in love with San Francisco.
On this New Year 2014 we'll go back to San Francisco. We are going to visit China Town and to celebrate the New Year in a Chinese restaurant.
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