Lo-lee-ta: the tip of the tongue taking a trip of three steps down the palate to tap, at three, on the teeth. Lo. Lee. Ta. :D Perhaps the best beginning to a book ever, and one of a few I memorized simply because they're so dang good. (Another begins. "Stately, plump Buck Mulligan came from the stairhead, bearing a bowl of lather on which a razor lay crossed." I miss my days as a lit major!)

No mistakes there - pretty good English for Russian (Vladimir Nabokov) jejeje.

Looks good to me! Seems poetic so its hard to judge, but understandable for sure. Lolita, luz de mi vida, lumbre de mis lomos. Mi pecado, my alma.