It's the first time I try to translate This is my first attenpt at translating my fan fiction from Spanish to English.  I'm writing, from Spanish to English. Can you help me commenting about if Please check my the grammar. it's ok, and the words are correct? I'm new in at writing stories in english. Also English and I want to know if it makes sense. Now I share with you the This is my first chapter. 1: 

It’s 21:00, but in her mind it felt like 17:35 from 3 years ago.
“Do you remember the first time we said goodbye?” A voice asked.
“Yes I do” Another voice replied. “I was sad because I didn’t know if we would meet again” The voice continued.
“After a long time, I asked myself about where that whistle was coming from.” The female voice asked
“Err… I…” The voice replied jittery.
“Don’t worry” The female voice said and after she looked toward her. It doesn’t matter. “What did you do in that time?” The voice asked. Finally the identity was revealed. It was Kari.
“I was Patamon” Gatomon replied. You know I just would met the others.
“Why Patamon?” Kari asked eager.
It’s easy to answer. Both of us digievolve into the same digimon type. Also you and T.K. were kids and the same age. His emblem is the hope and mines the light. It’s natural that we are good friends. But I wanted to talk with Angemon… Patamon is a little fool…
Kari could not hide the little laugh outing coming from her mouth.
“Why is he a fool?” Kari Asked still laughing.
“He is a Kid, sometimes immature, but he’s a good boy with good feelings. However, Angemon is serious, mature and thoughtful. In fact, sometimes I remember Wizardmon when I see him.” Gatomon Started to drop tears while she looked toward the sky through the window.
“I’ve never felt that I’m part of the team Kari…” Gatomon expressed, let down.
“Why do you say that? All of us we are good friends” The girl attempted to liven up.
“I’ve had problems from a long time ago. Sometimes I feign to look ok, but I’m not. My situation; it’s hard. I don’t pretend by playing the victim and expect that the people try to help me.” Gatomon said with a sad voice.
“You know…” Kari interrupted “I understand what you mean. I don’t say to tell others all the things that happen to me, for not wanting to worry them. I don’t care if it’s I don't care if I'm passing for going through a terrible situation; I try to hide it and always smile to the at life. Sometimes this is the best can you do thing you can do; even the solution to your problems. There is always a positive side in all our problems, even if they are very bad.