Today, smart phones have become a vital thing for most Korean college students. Every day, their eyes are fixed on their smart phone to send kakao talk ( one of the korean messaging systems) and to scan their facebook. As a result, they are addicted to a smart phone. Because of smart phone addiction, they have a problem. First, they cannot concentrate on something more than 30 minutes especially in class. When they take a class, they look at their facebook and sand kakaotalk despite they know they miss many important points of the class. As a result, they cannot understand their class, want to sleep so they lose their interest of the class and postpone reviewing the lectures of the day and they cannot know a range of midterm or final test.
However If they determine certain time for kakaotalk or facebook, they will not be addicted anymore. Unless you have pressing business, smart phones must be banned in classes. They have to determine smart phone time in spare time. If they cannot use their smart phones in class, they do not or less use their smart phone. If this becomes a habit, they can concentrate on classes. They will ask a question about the class. Possibly, they will be interested in their classes. Moreover, students can remember the lecture. Thereby, they think their smart phones don’t have to be beside them.

Today, smart phones have become a vital thing for most Korean college students. Their eyes are usually glued to their smartphones everyday as they send messages on Kakao Talk (one of the Korean messaging systems) and scan their Facebook. As a result, they become addicted to their smartphone. This creates a problem because now they cannot concentrate on something for more than 30 minutes, especially in class, where they miss many of the important points. They cannot understand the class and want to sleep, which causes them to lose interest in the class and lose track of a lot of things (such as lectures and the midterm or final test). However, if they set aside a specific time during the day for other things such as Kakao Talk or Facebook, they won’t find themselves addicted anymore. If you do not have an urgent matter, then you should not use phones in class. They should only be used during your spare time. If they can do this, then they can concentrate on their classes and won’t feel like they need to have their smartphones beside them. They will ask questions during classes and possibly become interested in the class. Moreover, students will be able to remember their lectures and prepare better for the test.

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Smart phones for students

Today, smart phones have become a vital thing for most Korean college students. Their eyes are fixed on their smart phones as they send Kakao Talk ( one of the korean messaging systems) messages and scan their Facebook (Note: you can also say "their eyes are glued to their smart phones...". 메모: "their eyes are glued to their smart phones도 괜찮아요). As a result, they become addicted to smart phones (Note: you are talking about a group of people, 'they', so you should say the plural of smart phone - smart phones. 메모: 한 무리의 사람들을 (they를) 말해서 smart phone의 복수형을 써야 해요). This addiction leads to problems such as not being able to concentrate on something for more than 30 minutes. This especially happens in class, where they look at their Facebook and send Kakao Talk messages despite knowing that they're missing many of the class' important points (Note: you can also use the sentence Saul wrote. 메모: Saul씨 쓴 문장도 써도 돼요). As a result, they are unable to understand their class and want to sleep, causing them to lose interest and postpone reviewing the lectures of the day. They also won't know enough to prepare for midterm or final tests. However, if they set a certain time for Kakao Talk or Facebook, they won't find themselves addicted anymore. Unless there is an urgent matter, smart phones should not be used in classes. They should only be used during your spare time. If they can do this, they either won't feel the need to or will have less of a need to use their smart phone. If they can make this a habit, they will be able to concentrate and ask questions about the class. It's also possible that they could be interested in their classes. Moreover, students will be able to remember their lectures, and won't have to have their smart phones beside them all the time.

Wow, you did well :). Well done! I hope this helped.

우와 잘 썼어요! 이게 도움이 되면 좋겠어요.

오~ 우리 동갑인데 친구할래요? ㅋㅋ ^^