Script for my first spoken Chinese test....Must be perfect!

I have to submit a piece of spoken work for marking on dec 2nd. Introducing ourself and one other person to our imaginary Chinese club.
It should last aprx 1 min and contain the following information

Great the other people at the club
Say our name and introduce the other person
Explain if that person is or is not our partner/husband/wife
Give both our nationalities
Indicate both of our professions
Give our telephone number
Say goodbye

This is my script, please can you check I have given all the required information and correct any mistakes...Then I can get practising saying it perfectly!

Thank you

大家好！

我叫伊丽莎白， 我是英国人，在外卖店做收银员。
这位是王杰， 来自中国， 他是西安人，是一位经理 。
王杰既是我丈夫也是我的老板。我们住在沃金。 

我的手机号是07877164398，　王杰的是073872319688零。

谢谢。


(Your version sounds a bit weird and too formal, this version is more daily and natural, wish I could help :))

Script for my first spoken Chinese test....Must be perfect!

I have to submit a piece of spoken work for marking on dec 2nd. Introducing ourself and one other person to our imaginary Chinese club.
It should last aprx 1 min and contain the following information

Great the other people at the club
Say our name and introduce the other person
Explain if that person is or is not our partner/husband/wife
Give both our nationalities
Indicate both of our professions
Give our telephone number
Say goodbye

This is my script, please can you check I have given all the required information and correct any mistakes...Then I can get practising saying it perfectly!

Thank you

大家好！

我叫伊丽莎白， 来自英国，现在在一家外卖店做收银员。
这位是我的丈夫王杰，他来自中国的西安。 他是一位经理，同时也是我的老板。
现在我们住在沃金．

我的手机号是零七八七七一六四三九八，　我丈夫的手机号码是零七三七八二三一九六八八。 希望能和大家成为朋友！

谢谢，再见。

Just my suggestions:


大家好！

我叫伊丽莎白， 我是英国人。 我是一个外卖店收银员。 [if you found 外卖店 not easy to propronounce, you can change it to '咖啡店 or ''礼品店', or maybe change your job to '公司职员'?]
这位是我的丈夫王杰， 王杰来自中国， 他是西安人。 王杰是一位经理，也是我的上司。
王杰是我丈夫和我的老板。我们住在沃金[ ‘伦敦’ or '利物浦' sounds more familiar ]．

我的手机号是零七八七七一六四三九八，　王杰手机号码是零七三七八二三一九六八八。

再见。