My dog

When I was a child, I really wished to have a dog but I couldn't. At that time, I lived with my dad and my stepmother and she had a allergy to animal hair, so my wish couldn't come true.

One day, my sister waited for me at school and she said, "I have a big surprise for you. Go home and you will find out what it is", When I came to my room, I saw a puppy on my bed. He was so cute and I really was happy at that moment. I really wanted to breeze to all the family's member but my sister whispered to me that the puppy was a small secret between us. After that, we had a difficult time; we had to hide this puppy and buy food for him. Besides, because we didn't know how to look after a puppy, he got a sick and then our stepmother found out we were hiding a dog. She didn't want us to take care of him. We were so upset, and we sent him to my mother. She used to take care of a lots of dogs so we thought we could be reassured. 2 weeks later, the puppy was back to health and we went to my mother's house everyday. Unluckily, 3 months later, the puppy got sick again. I don't remember what the name of this illness is but I and my sister knew we were in trouble, this disease was so bad (When a dog got it, he will almost certainly die) and the doctor said if my dog could survive more than 10 days, he would be recover. Therefore, my sister and I prayed day by day. My puppy showed signs of recovery, so we were really happy. On the 9th day, when my sister and I went to my mother' house, she said he had died. We couldn't believe it, but it we trusted her and we cried very much. I don't remember how long we cried.
Now I have a new dog. Because I don't want to lose her, I take care of her so much and I don't allow myself to make the old mistakes as with the old puppy, but I don't understand why I can't love her more than Happy - his name of him.

Hope everyone fixes the mistakes for me. Thanks so much.

Take care with tenses - and try to keep your sentences from getting too long.

Another very good story, Nguyet. Well done.

My dog

When I was a child, I really wished to have a dog but I couldn't. In this time, I lived with my dad and my stepmother and she had a allergy with animal hair so my wish couldn't come true.

One day, my sister waited for me at school and she said, "I have a big surprise for you. Go home and you will know about that." When I came to my room, I saw a puppy in my bed. He was so cute and I really was happy in this time. I really wanted to breeze (do you mean "brag"?) to all of family's members but my sister whispered with me that puppy was a small secret between us. Then, we had a difficult time. We had to hide this puppy and buy food for him. Beside, ("Besides" might be unnecessary) Because we didn't know how to look after a puppy, he got a sick, and after that, our stepmother knew we hide a dog. She didn't want us to take care of him. We were so upset, and we sent him to my mother. She used to take care of a lots of dogs so we thought we can it seemed reassuring. 2 weeks later, the puppy was back to health and we came to my mother's house everyday. Unluckily Unfortunately, 3 months later, the puppy got sick again, I don't remember what the name of this illness is was but I me and my sister (or more properly "my sister and I") knew we got a into trouble, this disease was so bad (When a dog got gets it, he almost will be died can possibly die) and the doctor said if my dog could survive over 10 days, he would be back to health. Therefore, my sister and me prayed day by day. My puppy had a sign that he will would reach a cure so we were really happy. Day 9th (or "The 9th day), when my sister and I came to my mother's house, she said he died, we couldn't believe that but it is a trust (not sure what you were trying to say? Maybe "it was the truth") and we cried very much. I don't remember how long we cried.
Now I have a new dog and because I don't want to loss lose her, I take care of her so much very well, and I don't allow myself to make the my old mistakes like with the old puppy, but I don't understand why I can't love her more than Happy, - name of him. my old dog.

Hope everyone fix mistake for me. Thanks so much

You did a really GREAT job!! Nice storytelling, pet your puppy for me ^.^