TOEFL IBT writing

...

Most of his compositions are hard to play, and he also set a new standard for piano playing techniques. I listened to a couple of his compositions in music club, such as No.2 Hungarian Rhapsody and Dreams Of Love. These are all fantastic instrumental music which I cannot learn of in my academic studies.

Besides, Being involved in organizations and activities are is ('being involved' is the subject. singular) an integral part of student's school social lives and precious experiences. There are a lot of things they can learn from them. For example, these activities may help them build up good value in their lives. I have taken part in a volunteer activities when I was a freshmen. This is a charity activity, in which we donate money for atistic (artistic or autistic?) children by selling post cards which were drawn by themselves. From this activity I learned that there are a great many people in the world who are in great need of our help. Although what we can do are is very minor, if we keep doing it we can still make our a difference to the world by our individual efforts

TOEFL IBT writing

Because it is a longer article, marking tends to exceed an italki limit of 2000 characters, so I'll mark it in 2 parts ... I suggest you more clearly separate paragraphs, a wall of text discourages would-be reviewers.

Nowadays, students in university tend to get involved in organizations and activity clubs in their campus. Some people hold different ideas/opinions about joining these kind of such activities, by saying that it will certainly take up too much their time, so that they don’t have enough energy and time to focus on their academic studies. However, I totally reject don’t back up this notion.Obviously, (a noise-word, means nothing) There are is a host of number of arguments for either side justifications involved.
To begin with, Attending clubs and organizations as much as possible can undoubtedly benefit one’s social and personal life. As we all know, there are a variety (you do like 'a host' 'a variety' 'a lot of'! :D how about poor old 'many' sometimes, or 'quite a few, or multiplicity, multitudinous...) of clubs opening for students in university, and students can choose several from them for what they like to do/enjoy and what things they want to learn.

I have a personal experience. I like travelling and I love music, so I joined in a travel club and a music club. In travel club, I have a chance to go to tons of (haha there's a variant!) famous sites of and famous different cities in China in my holidays and spare time. There are some sites where I already have known in from my textbooks, but not until I had gone to the places on my own did I realize how splendid and amazing they are. Such knowledge I that cannot know get just only by learning studying/reading about them in my classes.

Also, I learned a lot from my music club. I didn’t use to like classical music before, but after I joined music club and learnt about a lot of excellent musicians I started to love this music genre. Franz Liszt, for instance, became one of my favorite musicians and pianists. I learned that he is a Hungarian composer and pianist and very outstanding for his days. ...