Hi, Shirlene. You have many nice phrases here and a good story. As you are mainly writing in the past tense, I will change the wording to reflect that.

A Little Story  (title should always be in initial capitals)

This is a little story I made by constructing several new phrases. Just please forget the logic (logical) of the story and help me correct my writing mistakes if you want. Thanks a lot!


Susan is a painter who is complacent about her art (painting) (better not to repeat same word, if possible). She scorns other artists who are just amateur.

The other day, she was (is) loitering on a (the) street, that was (which) surrounded by lofty buildings. Suddently, a painting booth attracted (of painting gets) her attention. There stood (has) an old man with (who is full of) white hair and two young boys wearing (with) shabby clothes. (shoddy textile). The old man seemed to be (seems like) a painter, teaching/instructing them how to draw and imparting  (to them) some techniques to them.
The two boys were (are) concentrating intently on what he was (is) saying.

Susan was (is) looking at the painting (which) they were (are) working on.
It was (That is) very dainty and one of the best paintings she had (has) ever seen. She was (is) thoroughly impressed. ( thorough.) Therefore, she started to talk with the old man.

"Your (Ur) work is gorgeous! With that painting you can have your own gallery. Why are you (u) painting on the street? "
She asked.

The old man smiled (smiles) and said (says): " I love paint. Painting is my entire life. But what I want is not to be rich by selling (saling) my paintings but (I want) to impart all my (all) acknowledge to people who love (loves) to paint such as me or these little kids who have (has) a passion for it (on that) but are raised in a poor family."

On hearing this, (After he talked,) Susan was overcome with a feeling of remorse. (feels very guilty unbridled.) She was (is) too complacent about herself but now realised (she realizes that) she should be doing (has to do) more meaningful things with her life to (which can) help people, just as (like what) the old man was (is) doing.)