A little about my strange life. School years. (Part one)

I sufer from PTSD and during years of my life I suffered in silence. After the hardest event that ever happened to me, I just kept going without looking back
So many times I wonder how the adults around me never noticed how strange and broken I was. But frankly speaking, I always looked like many other introvert guys of this world.
During my school years, I behaved well, always silent and looking highly focused. I always got good grades. I was a bookwarm since I remember I could read.
I never went to a party until I become 18, but it could be explained by my religious tradition. I belonged to a rigid Protestant group and it was very common, being a good guy.
I used to spend hours alone in my room, listening to heavy metal and sometimes, crying. When people asked me, I always told them it was because of a severe headache.
I never had a partner during this years, no friends who I considered important because my soul was closed. Every single day I prayed and cried for a miracle, for a way to express myself and be close to my peers, for being normal.
I went to college and then, for the first time in life, I realized that something was wrong with me, even though I didn't know precisely what it was.
I jumped into harmful relationships like those silly guys you see in movies. My relatives treated me like trash, they never looked at me with respect, they never talked to me using a polite tone of voice tune. They were rude and I allowed them to be so.
I committed myself to somebody who promised me to love me and respect for life time, and one day I woke up alone.
I was bullied, for I never talked too much and always behaved timidly, some of my current best friends told me that people did that to me because they could see my fear, because I was fragile.
I dropped college even when my teachers asked me to not do so.
And I gave up on myself.

A little about my strange life. School years. (Part one)

I sufer from PTSD and during years of my life I suffered in silence. After the hardest event that ever happened to me, I just kept going without looking back
So many times I wonderd how the adults around me never noticed how strange and broken I was. But frankly speaking, I always looked like many others introverted guys of this world.
During schools years I behaved well, always silently and looking highly focused. I always received good grades. I was a bookworm ever since I the  remember could learned to read.
I never went to a party until I become 18, but it could be explained by my religious tradition. I belonged to a rigid Protestant group and this "good guy" behavior it was very common. being a good guy.
I used to spend hours alone in my room, listening to heavy metal and sometimes, crying. When people asked me why, I always told them it was because of a severe headache.
I never had a partner during those years, no friends who I considered important because my soul was closed. Every single day I prayed and cried for a miracle, for a way to express myself, and be close to my peers and to be for being normal.
I went to College and then for the first time in life, I realized that something was wrong with me, even I could knew precisely what it was.
I jumped into harmful relationships like those silly guys you see in movies. My relatives treated me like trash, they never looked at me with respect, they never talked to me using a polite tone of voice.voice tune. They were rude and I allowed them to do so.
I committed myself to somebody who promised me to love me and respect me for a life time, and one day I woke up alone.
I was bullied, for because I never talked too much and always behaved timidly, some of my current best friends told me that people did that to me because they could see my fear. Because I was fragile.
I dropped out of College even when my teachers asked me to not do so.
And I gave into myself in.