A important Leader- Help me!!
In the world, there have been existing many of real heroes with patriotism. Like, Gandhi saved the India from English colony by claiming civil-disobedience. His courage and intelligence created a significant impression to many Indians so that Gandhi has still been famous and deserved a credit for their national citizen. Likewise, In Korea, historically we also have a famous, respected and brave leader who save our country. His name is the general Lee, Sun-shin who lived in fifteenth-century, Cho-sun dynasty.
The general Lee saved my country from the invasion of Japanese marine armies. The first reason is that his braveness without a fear of enemy gives me a deep sensation . In the Korean historic records, the general Lee fought against the Japanese marine ship at least larger than 30 times in a scale. Although the result of the war was the predictable numerically, he led Korean fleets to win the war against Japanese.
Second things that the general Lee is a special leader for my country is that I was impressed with his patriotism and intelligence. To begin, without his sacrifice and commitment for Korea, the host of my nation would have been changed. Furthermore, regarding intelligence, he invented the turtle ship which looks like a turtle. The turtle ship with high-technology was a mainstay to defeat a vast number of Japanese armies.
I have mentioned at least three reasons why the general Lee is most famous and unique leader in my country: Braveness, Patriotism and Intelligence. We also have other many leaders in Korea. However, saving the country in danger of being conquered by enemies is the unparalleled behavior for me. So, I think the general Lee, Sun-shin is the best renowned figure of the Korean leaders.
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Corrections · 5
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Oppa, it should be AN important leader. Because the adjective A is only used when the follow up object begins with a consonant.
Example:
A respected leader.
AN awkward situation.
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*Some notes:
We don't normally say "The General Lee". Leaving out the "The" sounds much better.
In this sentence, "In the Korean historic records, General Lee fought against the Japanese marine ship that was approximately 30 times larger than General Lee’s ship.", I assumed that General Lee had a ship?
In this sentence, "Without these characteristics in General Lee, the host of my nation may have been different.", I wasn't quite sure what you were trying to say here. I'm not sure if you meant "host" as in Ruler of Korea, or "host" as in the People who occupy Korea. But my guess is that you were trying to say that the Japanese people may have taken over Korea? If that is the case, I might say, "the occupants of my nation may have changed."
Other than that, awesome job! Your use of vocabulary is really amazing! = D
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Two more reasons why I think General Lee was an exceptional leader in my country was because of his impressive amount of patriotism and intelligence. He showed his patriotism by his sacrifice and great commitment for Korea. General Lee showed his intelligence by inventing the Turtle Ship which looked like a turtle. The Turtle Ship, that contained advanced technology, was a mainstay to defeat a vast number of Japanese armies. Without these characteristics in General Lee, the host of my nation may have been different.
I have mentioned at least three reasons why General Lee is the most famous and a unique leader in my country: Braveness, Patriotism and Intelligence. Although we have many other great leaders in Korea, I personally believe that saving the country from the dangers of being conquered by a great enemy is something that would take an extreme amount of leadership. That is why I think General Lee Sun-shin is the best renowned figure of the Korean leaders.
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Throughout the world, there have been many famous heroes who deserve the credit for their patriotism to their people. Like how Gandhi saved India from the English colony by claiming civil-disobedience. Gandhi’s acts of courage and intelligence have impacted many Indian’s lives and are also the reason why Gandhi is such a significant character among the Indian people. Likewise, in Korea, historically we also have a famous, respected, and brave leader who has saved our country. His name is General Lee Sun-shin who lived in the Fifteenth-Century, Cho-sun dynasty.
General Lee saved my country from the invasion of the Japanese marine armies. One reason that made General Lee a well-known leader was because of his braveness and ability to look his enemy in the eyes without showing any fear. In the Korean historic records, General Lee fought against the Japanese marine ship that was approximately 30 times larger than General Lee’s ship. Although the result of the war was numerically unpredictable, he led the Korean fleets to win the war against the Japanese.
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Alright, here's my edited version of your essay! I hope I didn't change it too much.
It was really good, I learned something I didn't know before! = D
Hope you like the changes I made!
...I'm not a professional writer either so there may be things that I didn't get right in here...so forgive me if I did...XD
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