IELTS 250 word essay:

hi my friends... i would like to thank you in advance for allocating a few minutes to read and to correct my essay...
subject:
In many countries children are engaged to some kind of paid work. some people regard this as completely wrong while others consider it as a valuable work experience, important for learning and taking responsibility. What is your opinion on this?

I am the personal belief that considering children's partaking in some kind of paid work is a worthwhile experience has far better merit than to regard it as completely wrong (the grammar is fine but your sentence needs to be looked at. What are you trying to say here?), and there are several reasons for such a statement.
First of all I think that involving children to a paid employment in the workforce will help them being to be responsible for their future life. this can be best exemplified by the fact that the sooner people start to shoulder culpabilities show responsibility? (I'm assuming you meant "show capability" but it doesn't really make sense), the more successful they become in their future life. Another point is I suppose one can say children's participation(the word participation doesn't really work well when you are talking about working) in Posts(jobs, working, workforce) could give them enough time to improve their skills in at a lower age and would be better in the future duty(duty is more for things that you are required to do. Example: If you're in the army it is your duty to protect people), specially if these occupations are concerned with their favors.(not sure what you are trying to say) A typical case common example being the fact is that practice makes perfect. what's more, it has been said that occupying giving children to jobs in their early years can help them them to find their interests and favors(favors are things you do for people when you don't have to. Sarrah: Can you do me a favor? Mike: Sure, what? Sarrah: Can you pick up the groceries on the way home) and so thus choosing the right direction in their economic life, and I cannot but I agree with that as in the case of................................................ still writing??? There are some mistakes here but I don't know how to fix them because I'm not sure what you want to write next :).
However, I can also see the benefits of discouraging children from working in their childhood. First of all I think that allocating the time and energy to study and to learn is so beneficial for children for instance learning math sure is better than to work working in a shop as a cashier. Very nice sentence!! :D secondly I believe that starting to work in lower ages can procreate a kind of complex Complex what? You haven't said what is complex in children. this can be best exemplified by.......................... 

To sum up and on the basis of the aforementioned arguments ,I would like to reiterate that I believe children's participating to in some kind of paid work is a priceless experience for them.

i did not find any convenient exemples to put in the gap! help me find the right ones please...