personal statement

I wrote a personal statement. It requires quite short and simple which should be included 3 parts: why apply for this course (managment), why I am suitable for it and why it is good for my career. Please correct me if there are any mistakes. Thanks. 

I am interested in Management for many reasons. Though management is a quite complicated and a challenging project, it is also very interesting for me. Throughout my university life, and in my specialism in Business English, I learned a variety of skills such as marketing, office skills and accounting. Hence, I have a basic knowledge about business. Furthermore, in my university life, I have learnt the online shopping operation process and have begun to practice. I know every detail in the trade clearly. However, it cannot be denied that I have found some areas difficult in my studies, but it has strengthened my determination continue further.    that I can’t learn from my limited knowledge about business, which strengthened my faith in further studying about business.

In the case of work experience, in July, I got my first job as a course consultant at an IELTS Training School. This job not only requires enough patience and flexibility but also marketing and management. All experiences further inspired my interest in business and gave me have a good understanding of my professional courses and prepared me for my future career, but it is not enough. so I am currently pursuing advanced study.

personal statement

I wrote a personal statement. It requires quite short and simple which should be included 3 parts: why apply for this course (managment) , why am I suitable for it and what is it good for my career. plz help me to correct if there is any mistakes. thx
I am interested in Management because of many reasons. The management is a quite complicated and challenging project, but also very interesting for me. Throughout my university life in my specialism in Business English, I learned a variety of subjects such as marketing, office skills and accountancy. Hence, I could understand basic knowledge about business. Furthermore, in my university life, I used to learn the online shop operation process and began to practice. I knew every detail in trade clearly. However, it cannot be denied that I found something difficult that I can’t learn from my limited knowledge about business, which strengthened my faith in further studying about business.
In the case of work experience, in July, I got my first job as a course consultant at an IELTS Training School. This job requires not only enough patience and flexibility but also marketing and management. All experiences inspired my interest to business, made me have a good understanding of my professional courses and prepared for my future career, but it is not enough so I pursue advanced study.