Thank you in advance , I need your help to correct my essay again . Please help me.
Topic : There is no longer neccesary to have animal as food or animal product such as clothing and medicine do you agree and disagree.
Killing animals for food or animal product seem a normal bahavior of human for long time , and these sometimes overweighted our original demand results in various species dying out , on which broke the balance between people and animal . There is a cautiously suggested that people should have the right protect the variety of species.
Human are cruel and greed that most of extincted or extincting species somewhat caused by them , and some animals have strongly suffered by human . For example, in each year , a great number of fish are confronted various threat , to be more specific , some part of them hunt for hunman diet as sushi , anothers for medicine and so forth . They perhap only have a option is dead . Moreover , there are a wider range of others species have the same fate as fish .
On the other hand , there are some negative effect behind the decreasing number of species . First of all , a number of species decreased meanwhile the number of relevent species drop also . This is sound like a butterfly-effect that food demand would change if one kind of food are lack .Another event worth to concern is , the gradually growing population in world with a terrible management of food and animal protection , human has few kind of food to eat and enviornment become oddly cause they are lack of animals effect and unbalance ecosystem .
In conclusion , human not only harm for animals , but also on themselves , hance , people should protect animals for in case .
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Thank you in advance , I need your help to correct my essay again . Please help me.
Topic : It is no longer neccesary to use animals for food, products, clothing or medicine. Do you agree or disagree?[ Make sure that your topic is written correctly]
This is an argumentative essay, so you need to look at both sides.
Human beings are so cruel and greedy that most of extinct or endangered animals have been caused by them! [ You need to make your opinion strong and very clear in your first sentence in this essay] Killing animals for food or products has been normal human behavior for a long time. These actions have resulted in various species dying out , which has broken nature's balance between people and animals . Recently, there have been many suggestions that people should protect many animal species, so that they don't become extinct.
Many animals and fish have suffered needlessly from humans hunting them endlessly . For example, each year , a great number of whales and other fish are confronted with threatened extinction. To be more specific , some of their parts are hunted specifically for human delicacies such as sushi , whales are used for cosmetics, medicine and sharks are caught for shark fin soup. They only have one option, death . Moreover , there are other fish like sharks which suffer the same fate as whales and fish . Also, tigers, and rhinos have been hunted to almost extinction, as well as the cruel practice of kiling elephants just for their ivory tusks. There is no need to kill animals for their fur as there are now many synthetic materials for clothing and footwear[ You have to also mention some animals and products here as well, becaus it was in your topic]
Some people will argue that there are some negative effects of the decreasing number of species . First of all , when a number of species decreases, this is like the butterfly-effect; that food demands change, if one kind of food is scarce. Another event worthy of concern is , that our rapidly growing population can lead to a disastrous management of food and animal protection. Some people have very few types of food to eat and so their environment becomes unsustainable because they lack animals to eat as they have been hunted to extinction and then they end up with an unbalanced ecosystem.
In conclusion, people can survive very well by eating vegetables and grains just as our ancestors did. They only ate meat and fish rarely and used herbs for medicines instead of animal parts. By harming animals, humans also harm themselves and their environment. Therefore, we should protect animals, whales and our wild life. We only have one Earth.
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