Corrections · 3
If you could change one thing about your hometown, what would you change?
My hometown it is a small and quiet town in the Moscow region. There are many interesting and beautiful places in it. Although, one thing which could make my city better it would be a movie theater. We don't have no it one yet, but it could provide additional spare time entertainment for people and give them a chance to get more enjoyment from it.
Firstly, many parents could watch new cartoons and tales with their children. I believe, it's a very important moment in one's childhood to have such an experience. One trip to the cinema it is an exciting journey with popcorn, arcade and meeting with dream characters for every child.
Also, it could be very useful for teenagers. Young people like to be in follow the trend of the modern cinema industry and watch all the new movies. Some cinemas can offer educational films and it could help with the students' study. In additional, the cinema it is a perfect place for dates.
It is quite difficult to find a good place where adults can spend their for spare time for adults and a movie theater would be one of such places. Many favorites films can be watched in a pleasant atmosphere.
I believe, a cinema is a necessary building in every town. It can provide a leisurely experience for almost every age. I hope that one day I can see a theater in my hometown, go there and get an experience such as I've described above.
Good work - overall this was pretty good. :)
You have a habit of writing "it" after the subject. The problem is that you're basically repeating yourself, and your sentences sound broken.
Start to make use of would be if you're theorising something. Use is for reality.
Pay attention to articles (a/the). They are necessary for clarity.
Hope that helps!
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