Search from various English teachers...
Afghanistan flagZeinab
Reservation of wildlife In 21st century wild life animals which includes terrestrials , aquatics, and winger animals as well as insects which are born in nature and live in pastures, forests, seas, oceans, and mountains are vulnerable to devastations, in accordance with the diverse effects, governments have more responsibility for preservation of wildlife animals. Wild animals make a "chain food" which is the cyclic of life, for instance foxes eat rodents and it may lead to prevent to destruction of crops, excessive illegal hunting damages "chain food" and It is necessary to establish some centers in order to prevent such hunting and strict punishments is needed for this process All kind of animals wild or domestics, big or small make the nature to be alive , and in my perspective their existence is beauty of environment and people should respect to their lives, furthermore some sanctuary for rehabilitating animals vaccinating and protecting them from disease seems to be necessary in every countries, preparing some, Although zoological place for animals is a safe place for all sorts of animals and for tourists attraction, free area is a right for animals and government have to consider those place for living of animals. In summary, It can clearly conclude that today urbanization and industrialization took some animals rights and it is an international task to pay more attention to this issue and government should consider some budgets in order to preserve wildlife. Last but not least prevalent media, magazines, newspaper should write and aware more about animals life because they are part of our nature.

Corrections · 4

0

Reservation of wildlife

In the 21st century, governments have more responsibility for preservation of wild animals. Terrestrials , aquatics, and winged animals as well as insects which are born in nature and live in pastures, forests, seas, oceans, and mountains which are vulnerable to ecological  devastations. in accordance with the diverse effects,
Wild animals make a "chain food" which is the cycle of life. For instance, foxes eat rodents, which may lead to prevent to destruction of crops. Excessive illegal hunting damages this "food chain". It is necessary to establish refuges in order to prevent such hunting, with strict punishments for violators.
All kind of animals wild or domestics, big or small makethe need nature to survive. In my perspective, their existence is part of the beauty of the environment, so people should respect to their lives. Furthermore, some sanctuaries for rehabilitating and vaccinating animals and protecting them from disease seems to be are necessary in every country.  Although zoos place for animals is are a safe place for all sorts of animals and for tourists attractions,  governments have to provide free ranges for animals to live in.
In summary, It can clearly conclude that today urbanization and industrialization have taken some animals' rights, and it is an international task to pay more attention to this issue. Governments should consider devoting some of their budgets in order to preserving wildlife. Last but not least prevalent Media outlets should help raise awareness by writing more about animal's lives, because they are part of our nature.

 

-I normally don't like to make so many changes, but you have too many run-on sentences. I tried to break them into smaller, coherent pieces, and I eliminated a lot of padding. Try writing drafts with short clauses, and then see where you can logically combine them into multi-clause sentences :)

 

 

0
Could you please correct my entry?

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today