God! What am I doing? (part two) And what is more i found out that the only poem about love i have was written on the day of his birthday, about two weeks ago. Wasn't it tyrannical for my imaginativeness) a lack of man society you would say) most girls lived these feelings through in the primary school. But "this is who i am" as one of my acquaintances would say By the way) he is junior to me by 2 years) ahah My next idea was: he will never pay attention to me) I decided not to make situation ridiculous and forget about him. But first wrote him a letter which was called "swear to become the best one". oh, that was just another folly of mine. I tried to explain him how many opportunities in his life he can enjoy, that he can realize himself in the field of art, that he should become better, that i was extremely surprised and so on. i guess he decided i was nuts and didn't care a word) but... "this is who i am") Next day i almost forgot about him, when i ran into him in the street) we spoke of nothing and followed our own roads... though i was tormented with thoughts about him for about month, even wrote my best poems)) I left for Moscow. continued my study at university, did my best to become better, had loads of things to do)) and forgot about everything until... one day i wrote him a message. and we started to chat. he had problems with i-net access, but every time he had it, he wrote smth to me. and i got accustomed to it. but this communication was pure, i always had to skip discussion topics which were common for me but too complicated for him. i believe i am too broad-minded for him. but still it was nice) it was a puzzle for me why he was writing. and unwittingly i started to cherish my dreams about you know what. My God, i'm writing this all and realize how jokey this situation is))... but we met two weeks ago as i came to the ukraine to meet NY holidays with my granny. and i believe he wanted to start relationships but i was thinking over it too loooong) and his interest faded) i didn't even kiss him. but when i got ripen he didn't phone me and ask go out)) i tried to explain everything to him, wrote him a letter (it's my style). it was collosal philosophic reflections about life, feelings, sense of life and so on. and his answer was "i don't know what my answer should be". That was the point) That WAS his answer) I believe there could be love, but it's fucking lamentably. Have you ever read books by Erich Fromm? This is who I am)