A story/ The inner battle
"Correct and give me your feedback please. Thanks"
A story
The inner battle
Chapter one: Who am I?
“Hi, my name is Sarah. I work as a marketing manager in one of the multinational companies. I want to share with you my story as I used to have this inner battle since I was a child.”
Here is my story. When I was a child I used to go to school. I loved my teachers, they were kind. My only problem was in that teacher who used to teach us math. His name was Adam. He used to treat everyone in a good way except me. He used to treat me badly. I always worried if he hates me for certain things. But I couldn’t find an answer.
One day I was in class and he asked me to answer a question. I told him “I can’t answer it because I couldn’t study yesterday as I had some issues at home”. I suddenly found an unexpected reaction. He came to me and slapped me then asked me to get out of class immediately. I ran out of class full of tears and asked myself “Why did he do this to me?” I may have done something wrong, but this didn’t justify his reaction. I have to go to mom and tell her what happened to take the right action with this teacher”.
“Sarah, tell me what happened! “Said mom, “Mr. Adam slapped me and I don’t know why he did this to me”. I Said.
“And what did you do to make him slap you on your face like this”. Said mom
“I just couldn’t study yesterday because as you know dad was sick and I couldn’t concentrate” I said
“Aha, It is your fault then” Said mom, She stopped for a while then said “You could have managed your time”
I said “But…”
“Now leave me alone I have things to do” Said mom.
I couldn’t believe my eyes. Is it the end of this story? I asked myself, was this mom’s reaction to something like this? For sure this is a dream” I said.
I spent the night crying and was telling myself “No one is here to help me, but… was it my fault? “Oh God I am a big loser then, I hate myself” I said. I slept that night with tears on my cheeks.
One week later I was playing with some friends, when a girl named Jessica passed in front of us. She was so pretty. We used to call her ‘The queen’. I always dreamed of being as pretty as her. I always said to myself “If only I was as pretty as this girl, I would have lived my life in another way”. She come straight to us and said “Girls I am having a party next week and all of you are invited to attend it”.
Search from various English teachers...
Corrections · 12
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You're welcome! :-)
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Susie... Thanks a lot ... As a specialist in this field. your opinion means a lot to me ...seriously. :D ... I am now much more motivated to proceed with the next chapters. stay tuned :D
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I'm on pins and needles and so looking forward to reading the next chapter! I just have one simple comment, to avoid repeating "I said" and "she said", etc, you may use other words such as "She stopped for a while then [added]", “Sarah, tell me what happened! “ my mom [asked/inquired]", "“I just couldn’t study .... concentrate” I [replied]", "For sure this is a dream” I [thought to myself]", "Oh God I am a big loser then, I hate myself” I [cried], etc. Great job though! Thumbs up!
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hahah .. mia mia ... Shakespeare ... I like that haha. I will be inshaalah one day :D Egyptian love story. Great I can help you on more than one side then ;D ... lol
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Akeed, 3la rasy ;) Don't worry Shakespeare, so far so good. Yes, well I always wanted to make movies. I used to be in theater and drama class. Thanks for your interest, just to let you know my story will be a love story! :D lol!
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