My stupid (better: silly) fear

I want to learn Greek! It is a wonderful language! When Ii was working as a volunteer with greek Greek waterpolo team, the head of greek Greek delegation, Mister mister Troulos taught me some words... I guess , if somebody were to will wake me up at the early in the morning, i  I can could repeat each all of them: "Kalimera, kalispera, kalenighta, euharisto poli, parakalo, dekanose, mi kala...." I love how it sounds! my My Greek left me in Semptember (didn't understand??? your boyfriend,the Greek? if that is so,then no mistakes), but i I am still scared to begin learning... i'm I'm waiting for the moment when i'll refuse from this idea (didn't understand??? maybe: when I will get over this idea), however but during the past two months my wish is has  grown growing... Moreover,  I i know I i must learn English and Chineese, because it is directly connected with to my profession , and my future ; . And I should pay much more attention to pronunciation, improve vocabulary improvement, have get TOEFL and HSK... I shouldn't pay attention to something that is not as less important. But i I waaaaant (better: but I want it soooooo bad- just it's more like,in the spirit of the language,as it grows) , and can't do anything with it.
Why I why i write it? I have Have no idea. Maybe I'm waiting i wait for inspiration. Maybe I i just want to share my stupid fear with people, who probably have the same trouble. Т_Т