Open up I have this difficulty of expressing my opinions, ideas, myself. When I express myself, I always ended up taking much time since I don't know much how to open up. Just like now, while I'm making this notebook entry, I might take almost an hour or more just by writing this one. I'm afraid of expressing myself and letting other people know more about me. I'm afraid they'll just use it to hurt me. I'm afraid they'll just misunderstand me. I'm afraid i'll just ending up running away if they'll criticize and humiliate me. This all results to my refusal of expressing myself too much. These past few days, I've started writing a diary. I will try to write the things I can't express vocally. I will treat this as a practice. I really want my English skills to improve as soon as possible. I think this is the only asset I'll have. I've also done a lot of talking to other people online. I'm really glad if someone chats with me and spend some time with me. I really want to feel comfortable with people and I also want them to be comfortable with me. When I talk to people, I make myself as honest as possible. If I can't be honest to other people, there will be a greater chance that I'm not being honest with myself too. Now, one of the problems I face in conversation is sarcasm. Since I'm just talking to people online, I can't see their facial expression and I can't identify if they're serious or just making fun of me. This makes me sad. my hands are tired. i'll just end it here. :)