TOEFL Writing
Please, if you have ideas how to improve the text (i.e. some synonyms to frequently used words; tense usage.. ) please, post them in the comments! thanks!f
The building of a new factory in the community has its positive and negative aspects.
In my opinion, major problems are environmental issues. Since the standards of environmental protection are quite low in our country and a lot of guidelines aren’t followed by large national companies, the built factory would make our small and clean community become contaminated by the emissions of the plant. This would cause dramatic health problems among the population. Also, it would have a bad influence on the agriculture, as crops would be grown on polluted soils of low quality. There are several examples of large factories, which have inacceptable ecological effects: a metal plant in the central region of our country causes severe smog.
On the other hand, building a new factory has also its advantages. It would definitely create new jobs and account to the development of the infrastructure. Suppose a computer plant in a town with broken roads: the individual parts needed to assemble the devices would get damaged during transportation, rendering the factory’s products useless. Consequently, the company has to investigate in infrastructure development in order to make a great deal. Straightforwardly, the whole population of the community would profit from the new roads and railways.
As said, new jobs would appear. This would have a large impact on the general development of the community: the factory attracts workers, leading to a growth of population. Also, the newly appeared working places would cause a rise of the average standard of living, because the number of jobless would fall.
For example, think about any big, economically well-developed city: it has certainly several plants of big companies. So, the building of a new factory would definitely have a positive impact on its economics.
In my opinion, the plan of building a factory is great for all the above reasons. Personally I fear only the environmental pollution; I wish my town to be clean and without any trace of smog. This is the reason why I would support the idea only if it is a large international company raising the plant, which I can be sure will follow the ecological protection guidelines. In any other case I would be surely against it.
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Corrections · 2
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I believe that a comma should be placed after the word Personally. ...Personally, I fear only the environmental pollution; ... .
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Hi Andriy, I don't understand how your community would benefit from a company that would have to ... investigate in infrastructure development in order to make a great deal. Your sentence here would make sense to me if it was rewritten as follows ... Consequently, the company would have to invest in infrastructure development in order to be profitable, and the entire community would also benefit from the new roads and railways.
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