Tonight I love you more than usual

Tonight I can't stop thinking about us.
I think about the day I first met you and how spontaneously you smiled at me. I think about your play station, and how much time we spent playing it together. The book you gave me, the stories you wrote to me, all the frozen pizzas we ate when we slept together and you didn't feel like cooking.
I can cast my mind back over your departure, and I can distinctly feel my heart beating when I see you running towards me at the airport one month later. I can come back to those days in Holland, and feel the pain we hid.
I can imagine myself in your room, and I can see you reading a book or watching one of your favourite movies you wanted me to watch together; and I hate myself for not having watched them with you.
I hate all those moments when we argued while playing Mortal Kombat, all those moments I should have kissed you and told you "I'm sorry, forgive me" instead of being crossed with you.
Nevertheless it doesn't matter anymore, because I'm here writing on this fucking pc, while you are probably with other girls.
I had you and then I lost you, and then I had you and I lost you again.
Tonight I can't stop thinking about us.
Tonight I love you more than usual.