I wouldn't worry in the least about whether or not you produced a persuasive argument. IELTS is a test of your ability to express yourself in English. There are usually no right or wrong 'answers' to the topics, as they say themselves: 'Remember that you are not being tested on your general knowledge but on your ability to communicate effectively.' I know from talking to you, and seeing your work and chat messages, that you can do just that. Good luck !! Incidently, I would have written about education too, but perhaps also apprenticeship schemes , or even taking the youngsters into the army (and how this is controversial).