First notebook entry: Introducing myself
im a girl,just 16,come from China
my favorite rock band is Green Day
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First Notebook Entry: Introducing Myself
I'm a girl that is just 16 years old and living in China.My favorite rock band is Green Day.
Feel free to translate my comments if you need to. Welcome to iTalki, Doris. Your sentences would have been understood by people if spoken orally, I believe, but I have changed a few things to make them work better in written English. "I'm" is a contraction of "I am" as I am sure you know. Just make sure you put that apostrophe in there. It'll make your writing look more impressive if you remember it in the future. Since "First Notebook Entry: Introducing Myself" is a title, it would be nice, though not necessary in all settings I suppose, to capitalize the first letter of each word. I changed your "just 16" to something more wordy, but I think that it helps your writing look both more complete and literate. It's really just a preference. Do make sure, however, that if you do use commas you put a space after them. It creates neater writing appearance. You could say that you come from China, but that sounds a bit awkward. It makes it sound as if you came from there, but left and went somewhere else. Unless that is the case, you can just write that you are living in China. Lastly, remember to capitalize the first word in each sentence.
I hope I didn't just annoy or intimidate you with my words. I know they might have been impossible to understand, depending on your knowledge of English. I wasn't trying to scare you though, and hope that I helped you in some way, even if just by making the red marks. I encourage you on your path; English is becoming very important in the world. Press on.
-Kyletin. :)
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