Shy or modest? Sunny's post here http://www.italki.com/notebook/entry/209639.htm has made me think today why are shyness and modesty so often confused and whether one can be shy and modest at the same time. What is going on in a shy person's mind (probably! so please don't get too hot if you disagree) when the conversation is on: "Oh, I'm probably not cool enough for the company to [know where I've been recently]/[hear what I've read the other day]/[know what I think on the subject], so I'd rather stay silent". As a matter of fact, others won't value you any more than you do. In best case they will actually believe the shy person is not interesting enough, and in worst case they will think that person is arrogant and doesn't want to talk to them. While modest person would think "I know my opinion may be valuable, and I actually may be more informed on the matter, but I won't show off." Obviously, if a person realises that they can add something valuable to the conversation, there is no place for shyness. When it comes to the question Sunny has mentioned in her post - how much skin should a woman show and in what situations, the answer is pretty obvious, but shyness has nothing to do with that - it's a matter of modesty and self-esteem.