Talking in public, that's awful. - 20120415

After being encouraged a lot by my friends, I went to the English corner this afternoon. It was said to start at 2:30. I arrived on time, only to find there were about 20 people there. It was much fewer than I had imagined.

A few people was were talking loud. I turned around and found there was a foreigner there. From their conversation, I got to know that he was from Ireland and operated (suggest 'ran') a company here in China. He had a good sense of humor. It and this made him followed by (suggest 'popular with') more and more learners, who went to the English corner to practise. Obviously he was much more popular than the teacher there. By the way, the teacher was in fact the organizer. He had retired from a local shipping company and helped English learners for free. 

I was quite shy when I met the strangers, so I didn't join their talks. I was curious about my ability: I could understand that Irish accent/person easily, however it was hard to understand most of the Chinese people when they spoken Englsih English. I felt totally puzzled when a boy came to talk to me. Did I it look silly that I couldn't understand his Chinese?

The only progress I made was, when a guy talked about Europe, I corrected him. I couldn't stand someone misadvising others.

The last part was playing a game. The main purpose was to make the newcomers known by to the others. When the teacher suggested that the newcomers to make some speech. I felt nervous. Two girls did a good job. It made me feel stressful. I didn't think my oral English could be worse than theirs, but my courage was completely lacking. I could not move from my chair until the activity was finished.

It reminded me about my first failure in a job interview in 2008. I could remember nothing anything but panic. Unbelievable, I felt helpless again today. I didn't realise this might happen before I joined them. I felt so released when I left. Thanks to the friend who I texted to me this afternoon, I would probably had have escaped if there it was not for his help.

I used to talk with lots of people. No one could make me nervous like this, even if they were native speakers. What's the problem with me today? Was it because that I had to speak in public?

I had have to admit it, I was disappointed today.