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I LOVE YOU My family is just a very very common family in China.There are father ,mother ,my younger sister and i.We had been in a country until i entered into a junior school. Afterwards,we moved to the nearest town. My parents found a job in a small private factory. The job is tough and they always felt tired. My sister and i were very worried about them and cherished the money.We know money is hard to gain. Just because of this reason, we have been studying very hard and don't let our parents disappoint. Several years later, my parents started to do business by themselves and the business has becoming more and more. Nowadays,i found a relatively good job in SHENZHEN,and my sister has been admitted to a university in Beijing.I'm confident that our life would be better and better. By the way,i'd like to speak aloud to my family that: I LOVE YOU!

Corrections · 8

0

Too long to correct here.  Your English is advanced and your thoughts flow well and you use a wide range of grammar and vocabulary with little repitition.  Watch puncuation.  Two spaces separate sentences, a line separates paragraphs, there is no space before a comma and a one space after the coma.

If you want more then we need to schedule a lesson.  All in all you express yourself in writing very well.

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I LOVE YOU

My family is just a very very common family in China.There are father ,mother ,my younger sister and i.We had been in a country until i entered into a junior school. Afterwards,we moved to the nearest town. My parents found a job in a small private factory. The job is tough and they always felt tired. My sister and i were very worried about them and cherished the money.We know money is hard to gain. Just because of this reason, we have been studying very hard and don't let our parents disappoint. Several years later, my parents started to do business by themselves and the business has becoming more and more. Nowadays,i found a relatively good job in SHENZHEN,and my sister has been admitted to a university in Beijing.I'm confident that our life would be better and better.
By the way,i'd like to speak aloud to my family that: I LOVE YOU!
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I LOVE YOU

My family is just a very very [common] normal Chinese family [in China].  There is my father, my mother, my younger sister and myself.  We had been lived in the country until I entered into started at a junior school. Afterwards, we moved to the nearest town.  My parents found a job in a small private factory.  The job was tough and they always felt tired.  My sister and I were very worried about them and cherished [appreciated] the money.  We know that [money is hard to gain] earning money is hard.   Just because of For this reason, we have been studying very hard and don't give our parents any disappointment.   Several years later, my parents started to do business by themselves and the business has becoming is growing more and more.  Nowadays, I have found a relatively good job in SHENZHEN, and my sister has been admitted to a university in Beijing.  I'm confident that our life will be better and better.
By the way, I'd like to say aloud to my family that: I LOVE YOU!

A nice piece, apple.
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My family is just a very very normal chinese family.  There is my father,  my mother,  my younger sister and myself.  We lived in the country until i started at a junior school.  Afterwards,  we moved to the nearest town.  My parents found a job in a small private factory.  The job was tough and they always felt tired.  My sister and I were very worried about them and we appreciated the money.  We know that earning money is hard.  For this reason,  we have been studying very hard and didn't  give our parents any disappointment.  Several years later,  my parents started to do business by themselves and the business is  growing more and more.  Now I found a relatively good job in Shenzhen,  and my sister has been admitted to a university in Beijing.  I'm confident that our life will be better and better.
By the way,  I'd like to say aloud to my family that:  I LOVE YOU!

0

I LOVE YOU

My family is just a very very normal chinese family.  There is my father,  my mother,  my younger sister and myself.  We lived in the country until i started at a junior school.  Afterwards,  we moved to the nearest town.  My parents found a job in a small private factory.  The job was tough and they always felt tired.  My sister and I were very worried about them and we appreciated the money.  We know that earning money is hard.  For this reason,  we have been studying very hard and don't (didn't) give our parents any disappointment.  Several years later,  my parents started to do business by themselves and the business is  growing more and more.  Now I found a relatively good job in Shenzhen,  and my sister has been admitted to a university in Beijing.  I'm confident that our family life will be better and better.  
By the way,  I'd like to say aloud to my family that:  I LOVE YOU!
0

I LOVE YOU

My family is just a very very common family in China.There are father ,mother ,my younger sister and i.We had been in a country until i entered into a junior school. Afterwards,we moved to the nearest town. My parents found a job in a small private factory. The job is tough and they always felt tired. My sister and i were very worried about them and cherished the money.We know money is hard to gain. Just because of this reason, we have been studying very hard and don't let our parents disappoint. Several years later, my parents started to do business by themselves and the business has becoming more and more. Nowadays,i found a relatively good job in SHENZHEN,and my sister has been admitted to a university in Beijing.I'm confident that our life would be better and better.
By the way,i'd like to speak aloud to my family that: I LOVE YOU!

My family is just a very very normal chinese family.  There is my father,  my mother,  my younger sister and myself.  We lived in the country until i started at a junior school.  Afterwards,  we moved to the nearest town.  My parents found a job in a small private factory.  The job was tough and they always felt tired.  My sister and I were very worried about them and we appreciated the money.  We know that earning money is hard.  For this reason,  we have been studying very hard and don't give our parents any disappointment.  Several years later,  my parents started to do business by themselves and the business is  growing more and more.  Now I found a relatively good job in Shenzhen,  and my sister has been admitted to a university in Beijing.  I'm confident that our family will be better and better.  
By the way,  I'd like to say aloud to my family that:  I LOVE YOU!



 

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