Taking Aerobics

I found Zhen Duoyan's aerobics by a casual view at an online forum. A writter posted an essay at the online forum to say that she had been taking Zhen Duoyan's aerobics for two months and it lead to her losing 4 kilograms plus became stronger than before. I want to build my body up and reduce my belly fat, so I'd like to try it.
I started practicing aerobics last Monday. I am following a video of aerobics on the Internet to study and it is free. The lession is fourty minutes long. At beganning the rhythm is slow and the action is simple, but then it becomes more and more difficult further into the exercise and I almost can’t finish the whole program. When I'm done, I'm covered in sweat. I enjoy that feeling and I always {sleep well}? at night after a day that includes a good workout.

Even thought I felt pain all over my body for the first few days, now I can feel that my whole body is very relaxed. I hope I can keep it up everyday to become physically fit and also reduce my belly fat.

Taking Aerobic

I noted Zhen Duoyan's aerobic during a casual view on an online forum. A writer posted an essay on the online forum to say that she had been taking Zhen Duoyan's aerobics for two months, leading her to lose 4 kilograms of weight and her physique was stronger than before. I want to build my body up and reduce my belly fat, so I'd like to have a try.
I started to do the aerobics since last Monday. I am following an video of the aerobics on the internet to study, it is free. The lession is forty minutes. At the beginning the rhythm is slow and the action is simple, but it becomes more and more difficult as time goes by and I almost can’t persist with it until the last minute. At last, I have got sweat all over my body. I enjoy that feeling and I always have a good sweet after that night.

Even though I felt pain all over my body at the first few days, but now I can feel that the whole body is very relaxed. I hope I can persist with it on everyday to exercise, improve my physique and reduce of my belly fat as well.

Less than ideal word choice. Missing parts of speech or using the wrong form, either plural/singular or past/present tense. Spelling. Punctuation.

You chose a very complex and challenging essay. Only by attempting great things are great things attained.