Search from various English teachers...
Malaysia flagAbdul Muhaimin
Self-Awakening Last Sunday, I saw an old man collecting tin cans and plastic bottles from a trash can. For people who had never seen this thing would sound bizarre at first but the real reason for his action is just simply an act to stay alive. Selling those empty tin cans and plastic bottles is one way to make a living than lowly counting on someone else begging on the streets for money. This incident made me realize something. Something that gave me an impact on how I’ve lived my life so far. In my whole life from the day I was given birth till today, I’ve never imagined how lucky I’m to be where I’m here today. My everyday meals are under a scholarship so I don’t have to spend even a cent and still be alive for tomorrow’s day to come. Moreover, clothes were bought by my parents eventhough I have enough money to buy them on my own as I’m near my twenties by the way. With all of that being owned, I still wish for more. Hoping to buy new cell phones, laptops, or even games; the usual things you would’ve expected a teenage boy would buy if given a little of allowance every single month. And so from here on out, I want to say “Thank you God”, for being blessed with everything I have in my whole life right now. I would not selfishly spend my money on things I don’t need and be more focus on what’s necessary only. If there are a lot of them, maybe donating it for charity is the best way to use them as it will bring not only joy towards others that need them more than me, but also happiness within their hearts for the rest of their life.

Corrections · 6

0

Self-Awakening

Last Sunday, I saw an old man collecting tin cans and plastic bottles from a trash can. For people who had never seen this thing would sound bizarre at first but the real reason for his action is just simply an act to stay alive. Selling those empty tin cans and plastic bottles is one way to make a living, rather than lowly counting on someone else by begging on the streets for money. This incident made me realize something, something that gave me an impact on how I’ve lived my life so far.

In my whole life from the day I was given birth till today, I’ve I'd never imagined how lucky I’m to be where I’m here today. My everyday meals are provided under a scholarship so I don’t have to spend even a cent and still be alive for tomorrow’s day to come to keep on living.* Moreover, my clothes were bought by my parents eventhough even though I have enough money to buy them on my own-- as I’m nearing my twenties, by the way. With all of that being owned these privileges, I still wish for more. Hoping to buy new cell phones, laptops, or even games; -- the usual things you would’ve expected a teenaged boy would buy if given a little of allowance every single month.

And so from here on out, I want to say “Thank you God”, for being blessed with everything I have in my whole life right now. I would will hopefully not selfishly spend my money on things I don’t need, and I will be more focus more on what’s necessary only. If there are a lot of them, maybe donating it for charity is the best way to use them as it will bring not only joy towards others that need them more than me, but also happiness within their hearts for the rest of their life.

 

* What you wrote is not completely wrong, but it wouldn't normally be written like that in English, so I simplified it.

0

Self-Awakening

Last Sunday, I saw an old man collecting tin cans and plastic bottles from a trash can. For people who have never seen this thing it might would sound bizarre at first, but the real reason for his action is just simply an act to stay alive. Selling those empty tin cans and plastic bottles is one way to make a living, better than lowly counting on someone else and begging on the streets for money. This incident made me realize something. Something that gave me an impact on how I’ve lived my life so far.

In my whole life from the day I was given birth till today, I’ve never imagined how lucky I am to be where I am to be here today. My everyday meals are under a scholarship so I don’t have to spend even a cent, and I'll still be alive for tomorrow’s day to come. Moreover, clothes are bought by my parents even though I have enough money to buy them on my own as I’m near my twenties by the way. With all of that being owned, I still wish for more. Hoping to buy new cell phones, laptops, or even games; the usual things you would’ve expected a teenage boy would buy if given a little of allowance every single month.

And so from here on out, I want to say “Thank you God”, for being blessed with everything I have in my whole life right now. I will not selfishly spend my money on things I don’t need and be more focused on what’s necessary only. If there are a lot of things, maybe donating it for charity is the best way to use them as it will bring not only joy towards others that need them more than me, but also happiness within their hearts for the rest of their life.

0
Thank you for the opinions Amene and Antarien. I really appreciate it :D
0
Really good essay. I'm glad to read that someone understood such important thing. I guess you have kind heart, and what is more important you are not indifferent. Attention to this wrld and to other people is very important, pity that it is not obvious for everybody. And do you know what do I think? I think that you are very wise and mature for your age. For some people it takes much more time to understand the thing you've understood.
0
Very nice Abdul Muhaimin, you are a kind-hearted boy :-) you can help them with charity now and that's great. I hope in future you'll be wealthy enough to make some new jobs for these types of people. The thing they really need is a job! If you want to help someone, don't give them fish, but teach them fishing. Wish you all the best.

Want to progress faster?

Join this learning community and try out free exercises!

Don’t miss out on the opportunity to learn a language from the comfort of your own home. Browse our selection of experienced language tutors and enroll in your first lesson now!

Start Learning Today