MDD Thinking too much is not healty. Especially thinking too much while laying on the bed and staring at the empty walls all day long. What exactly am I thinking? Nothing and everything. Just a million foggy thoughts are coming, going, coming, going. Instantly. That was a lie, I just pretend to be thinking. I’m afraid that I am losing my mind, maybe I have already lost– as if having one is worth something. I’ve just looked out of the window. Everywhere is white. I didn’t know it was snowing. I have brown curtains to avoid sunlight in the mornings and I never open them. “I exist, that is all, and I find it nauseating.” I want to reread Nausea but maybe when I’m better. I am not in a mood to read anything right now. I can’t focus. I choose a book from the shelf, lay down, read a few lines and throw the book. That is sad. I feel so heavy. I have some F*** words to the people who say that I am young that I should go out, have fun live and laugh. Another lie. I am nice I don’t use such words. Just occasionally. I need better advice or a hug. Or maybe some medication. Have a nice day! http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=da46tpono_M&feature=related Peace, Love, Empathy,