IELTS writing task2 please someone help~~~~~QQ
According to some prediction, the typical teaching situation of a teacher and students in a room will disappear around the year of 2050. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
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The evidence seems to indicate that in the future the traditional education situation will be replaced by another teaching mode. For example, more and more people use the internet, video, television programs, etc. to study that means the typical teaching may be disappearing around the year of 2050. I am incomplete agree this opinion.
With advances in technology, more and more people have distance learning by use a variety of media facilities. Some people argue that there are minorities in the world where is uncommon of the media such as Africa, Egypt, Mongolia, etc. if the typical teaching situation is disappeared they will lose their education, yet I think it does not stand of they would not like to change the teaching mode. We can donate electronic equipments and teach them how to use, in this way the education will become more universal in the remote districts.
There are many advantage in the distance education, for example, it can help us to save some resources like oil because we do not need to take the transports for go to school, and the class time has more free as typical teaching. Although in the distance learning, students maybe lose the group life with their classmates, but in technology absorb effect is same to the typical education.
As we all know, the distance learning is the current trend. However, I believe that disappear of the typical teaching situation just between under 50 years that is impossible because now this is the year of 2011.
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Corrections · 4
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The native speakers tend to correct the narrative ones, like stories, personal introductions. They have little interest in persuasive essays, what the IELTS writing emphasized very much.
I have just written an essay of the same topic.
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I always use the dictionary and research many words I don't know which word is better than others, And the grammar is too. T+++T Thanks for your suggest, I'll take care about it.
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ya.u should try to write simple and clear.not using complex words with wrong position and meaning
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Please see the correction of the first 2 paragraphs below:
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The Evidences seem to indicate that in the future the traditional education situation will be replaced by another teaching mode/method (in the future). For example, more and more people use the internet, the videos (and) the television programs etc. to study. that That (It) means (that) the typical teaching may be disappearing around the year of 2050. I am incomplete agree this opinion. (I am not completely agree with this opinion)
Comment:
1. In Chinese, you say "the evidence" as "这个证据”，then you are wondering "哪个证据" if you start the conversation with "The". You can't use "the" if you haven't talked about it before. However, if you can say "the internet" even if you haven't talked about it before, because there's just one. Then you need to add "the" for all the nouns after "the internet" (the TV programs, the video games)
2. Either say, "In the future, + the entire sentense", or "the entire sentense + in the future".
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With advances (advancement) in technology, more and more people have distance learning by use (using) a variety of media facilities. ( don't understand the sentense here) Some people argue that there are minorities in the world where is uncommon of the media such as Africa, Egypt, Mongolia, etc. ( Some people argue that there are a few countries, such as Africa, Egypt and Mongolia, don't use media as common as the rest of the world). If the typical teaching situation is disappeared (disappears), they (who?) will lose their education, yet I think it does not stand of they would not like to change the teaching mode. ( need to re-structure) We can donate electronic equipments and teach them how to use, in this way the education will become more universal in the remote districts.
1. By + doing sth
2. It's safe to write simple sentenses at exams than trying complex sentense structures.
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