[Diary.22.Aug] Today I spent almost all of my time on settings up my new gadgets. I really regret that I didn’t check what types of Mac can run “sidecar”. Mine can not. There's a technique to execute

[Diary.22.Aug]

Today I spent almost all of my time on [setting s up] my new gadgets. [just "setting up" - if you are talking about another kind of "settings", like for your phone/tv/whatever, then "settings" are plural.]

I really regret that I didn’t check what types of Mac can run “sidecar”. Mine can not.

There's a technique to execute sidecar on an older Mac [This can be done two ways: Either "...on an older Mac" or "sidecar on older Macs" This makes the sentence agree in number. Only do one or the other, though. Not both.] But if my Mac breaks because of it, Apple won’t support it. [Not a correction, but I feel your pain. :-)]

A few days ago, my president asked me how much the new MacBook costs that I was thinking of buying myself. [Just a little more flow here, perhaps. "...how much the new MacBook I was thinking of buying costs." "Myself" would be implied there, or very close to implied. If you wanted to make it crystal clear that you'll be the one paying, I'd do it in another sentence. "This is a MacBook I'll buy for myself."] When I got into his company, I refused to use the company’s computer because they are all useless[,] and I don’t like uncool computers.

[Comma between two long and complete clauses, and I think "to his company" is just a slightly more fluid phrasing.]

My colleagues were amazed. I love Apple. ["It's" or "they are definitely good" - you should technically have a subject, though in a diary, probably not necessary.] Definitely good. I don’t care about those people using incapable computers. (We have good relationships, trust each other, [and] sometimes get into arguments using swear words haha) I ~~said~~ told him I will never use those of computers, I would [rather] use my computer for work instead.

The only real issue is "I said him" -- it has to be either 'I said to him" or "I told him." In English we "speak to," "say to" or "tell." Also "I would rather use" or "I will use my computer..." mostly because you want the mood to agree with the previous clause as much as possible.

Also, on the super-nitpicky level: if this were a more formal document, you might consider rephrasing "I don't care about those people." Why? Because you are about to tell us that you do, in fact, at least like them. Maybe something like "I don't care that my colleagues (or coworkers) use the incapable computers, but I love Apple." Or something along those lines. Again, there's nothing wrong with your writing, this is super nit-picky.]

So I have been working for his company on my ["personal" or "own"] computer ~~that I purchased for myself~~. Since I decided to video-edit for work, the next computer is going to be pricey and he considered it. I remember[ed] it, and I came up with a brilliant idea.

I immediately made a table on a Google sheet, with some functions, and calculated how his company and I save money from a greedy Japanese tax department if I purchased the new MacBook as a company’s expense. [Either "as a company expense" or "at the company's expense."] This means once the company buys it, ~~and~~ my salary will be reduced for it. They will forget to take off the expense after three months or so, though haha. And as I mentioned [to] him, our total tax would decrease.

I eagerly convinced him with a persuasive data ~~and~~ ["including" or "that included"] two merits; 1. The company tax we are going to pay next year will decrease / and 2. I am going to work more effectively! [I'd be included toward, "and 2. I will be able to work more effectively!"]

And today he replied me and said YES!!

It’s not a tax evasion. [A tax evasion isn't wrong, but simply "It's not tax evasion" sounds more natural.] I will work on the computer, sometimes use if for myself. Our accountant will accept it. I ordered it hours ago. I can’t wait to receive it.

This is really beautiful writing. It's a diary, so formality is a moot point. It's fun and only a couple spots point to it not being written by a native speaker. Those little words are difficult in every new language. Keep it up - this is awesome! Hopefully this helps a bit. If you have any questions, just let me know. Take care - Ella

Corrections · 3

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